jackierocketarts

It's Official

2011-07-15T09:49:00.003-05:00

Tiger is "offically" moving in with me and LJ. Pretty funny, as he's been spending 24/7 here for at least a month. I'm terribly excited. This means a few different things. One, it of course solidifies our relationship. Two, more money for the three of us, as cheaper bills and rent. Three, more money means I can get this damn divorce over with. I'm sick of it.

Another stormy day today, which is lovely. Until I have to go to work. Hate driving in the rain. Weirds me out. And my car tends to leak... Which is what I get for having a convertible!

Well, Shoot

2011-07-11T08:39:00.000-05:00

MONSTER rainstorm last night! Took these crazy pictures with the camera, but it's been so long that I can't remember not only how to hook the camera up to the puter, but if I still have the cord for it. Boo on me.

Yesterday, I went to The Saint Paul Saints baseball game. Not the smartest move on my part. It was one of the hottest days of the year, and I had planned to go straight to work. BUT, it was the "Harry Potter" day, and gave away scarves in Saints colors! Most expensive scarf I have ever bought, lemme tell you, as I only stayed for one and a half innings. But it was fun! And Fun Is Good!

At work, I was tearing around and saw a table that I wasn't waiting on that had on Saints gear. Went over and said HI and then realized I was talking to Joe Wiener who is the PA announcer. And who I have met before. He's just really tiny at the games (as I don't sit by him, usually, not because he IS a tiny person). So I felt silly and he was very nice. My friend Drew was there also as Mr. Vegas (scroll down ushertainers page, past Joe).

Okay, I'm tired and need a nap before picking up my girlfriend Mary's pup for his grooming (she had neck surgery), then staff BBQ meeting, then knitting date with my next door neighbor! Yikes! What day off?

Back

2011-07-06T11:34:00.000-05:00

It's been waaaay too long since I've blogged. The past year and a half have brought much on.

First, getting divorced. P and I broke up a year ago March. Not getting into that. Period. But I'm sane and happy. And that's what counts, right?

Second, within a matter of two weeks, I scored an amazing boyfriend (who shall be known as Tiger), and LadyJaneWriter became my roommate. This started in late March. I'm thrilled with both.

So, Life Is Good. I'm back.

Fear and Loathing of St. Paddys and Other Stuff...

2010-03-12T10:34:00.000-06:00

The Anchor is already getting phone calls about St. Paddys and if we are going to be open during the day. Nope. Business as usual - nothing fancy or out of the ordinary, except maybe some lamb stew. I did splurge on some green socks from Target to wear. My utter fear/disdain of St. Paddys still exists, but at least I get to work with friends. This is the first year in, what? Maybe 15 that I have NOT insisted on the day off to hide under the bed. I've told people that I will work Mother's Day (NOT a walk in the park), Christmas, even New Years Eve, but never St. Paddys, as it just brings out the asshole in people. They start drinking (even if they aren't Irish) around 9 am and keep going until they get thrown out of enough bars. Our blessing (and the only thing not making me refuse to work) is that due to our liquor license you can only have a pint if you eat a meal. AND we don't serve hard liquor - so no Jameson or Powers. I will for sure blog about my adventure that day!

Well, the showcase was brilliant. Unfortunately, my camera decided that it was time for the batteries to die, so I didn't get a single shot. The 4 boys sat around in a circle and each took a turn telling a story about the song they were about to play. Sometimes one of the others would chime in and accompany along with guitar. The meet and greet after was pretty awful, so I hugged Ben and chatted up Adam really quick and we split.

My cousin, Maren, GAVE US A NEW COMPUTER on Monday! Well, new to us, and for heaven's sake, the tower thing still has some protective plastic on it. She and her hub also threw in a printer. This thing is crazy fast. All we had to do is drive up to Sauk Centre to pick it up. Oh, and we took them out for dinner. Buck burger night at one of their favorite places. Apparently, the monitor on this one went blech-y, so they just went out and bought a whole new one. So, while we have this fab fancy-pants new puter, we have a 100 year old monitor. Which strikes me as funny.

Putting off errands. I redecorated the Christmas wreath at work for Valentines Day, and I think with a little spray paint and felt shamrocks, I can make it pretty again for St. Paddys. Then the thing has to go. But I like to repurpose things. I also need printer paper. WHY can't I buy everything in one place? Says the lazy girl...

I finally got my glasses the day after I posted about them not being in yet. Another repurposed item, as I used my old frames - the ones in the little picture on the left. Bifocals are weird. I'm getting a little used to them, but have trouble with stairs, as while trying to watch the stairs that I am going down, I'm looking through the reader part of my glasses. Therefore, I either have to lift my glasses up to look at the stairs, or tuck my chin into my chest to look through the distance part. I'm also tilting my head in new ways to see properly. But it is better than wearing readers. Thinking about looking into those fancy bifocal contacts, but they may make me even crazier. And they are expensive.

Monday is our Front of House meeting for work. The girls are treating us to not only dinner, but either a facial or massage at Aveda. Holy cats! Also thinking sleepover at either the girls house or A's, as libations will be imbibed. I'm sure there will be stories to be posted (or NOT posted) from that afternoon and evening!

100 Days

2010-03-05T08:28:00.000-06:00

It's supposed to be over 40 degrees for the first time in over 100 days,here in glorious MN. Freaking heat wave! I'm so excited, I could spit a rat!

Other news:
*Got tickets to
The Americana Showcase this Sunday. Did this without trying to get on the "pest list" (aka guest list). I'm very thrilled about it and will be wearing one of my new Salvation Army dresses.

*My cousin Maren, who I have not been in touch with in years, has offered up a used puter to me for free. All we have to do is drive up to Sauk Rapids and get it. That's only about an hour and a half away. Probably should buy her and the hub dinner too.

*I still don't have my new glasses. They were supposed to be in yesterday, but no luck. I'll be making a phone call today regarding this, as I want normal vision. Well, as normal vision as bifocals can offer you.

*Mildly dreading St. Patrick's Day at The Anchor. If Fridays during Lent are still this crazy, St. P's is going to be insane. Let's pray I'm waiting tables, says the lapsed Lutheran. Speaking of, I'm waiting tonight, so BRING IT ON!!!

Restaurant Rants:

1. Don't get upset with your hostess if she says "at least a 45 min wait" and you have to wait an hour. I said AT LEAST. And I have to try and seat a party of 11 in a place that only can seat 38. Hush. And if you leave, tell me, so I can take you off the list and not run around like a ninny looking for you. No offense to Ninnycat.

2. Never argue with your Irish boss about what day St. Paddy's falls on. You'll lose and look like a stupid German idiot. Which I am.

3. When your hostess says "I have a table for you, we just need to clean it off" means WAIT FOR THE TABLE TO BE CLEANED OFF. It does not mean sit down at the dirty table and let us clean around you.

4. Do NOT grab your hostess by the arm. Ever. Or your server, either. Really?

5. We are NOT expanding. Hush again. Stop asking that. We've only been open five months. First, where do you think we have the extra cash to do so, and why the heck would we anyhoo? It's fabulous, just the way it is. There will be no knocking down of walls and I won't seat you in the basement next to the chipper. Unless you want to be IN the chipper...

6. We have two booths. TWO. If you want one, be prepared to wait and if one clears out and there are ppl waiting ahead of you, they'll get it. Don't pull the princess card on the princess hostess.

AND most importantly:

7. Never ever ever piss off your hostess, server, or bartender. The hostess can drop you to the bottom of the list, your server can make your food take forever, and the bartender can cut you off. One would think that this would be common sense.

The above is just ranting. Trust me, I still love my job and will do until they throw me in the chipper!

Missions Accomplished

2010-02-24T11:47:00.000-06:00

I'm so proud. P and I went to SuperTarget yesterday. OMG. Really. It's almost better than Salvation Army (but in a different way). It has a full grocery store, all the regular Target stuff, and an optic department. Therefore, in one fell swoop, we got the groceries, a few things for around the house, and I got "new" glasses on order. They are actually old frames that I love, but are being made into bifocals. I was rather overwhelmed by all this (says the girl that loves the Mall of America), and ended up forgetting a bunch of things on my list, but it went very well.

I was so happy that P went with. He hates shopping to no end, but he was a trooper. I warned him about me putzing, but he even hung out in the DVD section for 20 minutes while I searched for the new HP movie. And helped look. And this is after he went jeans shopping with me a few weeks ago at a real mall.

Went out to lunch with my girlfriends K and M on Monday. Super yum at Pop. It was amazing. Then the three of us went to Crafty Planet, as K is learning to knit and we hooked her up. I used my gift certificate from my girlfriend R there that she got for me after I was mugged. I have two girlfriends preggers, and need to work on baby bibs! And one is expecting TWINS. Egads.

K and I then went to SalArm and I scored 2 Converse dresses, a Converse vest, tights, and a pair of Converse black sparkle tennies for $35. NOT BAD.

It feels so good to be getting stuff done again. Joining swaps, returning monies owed, returning favors. Being able to actually get my hair done (okay, Jason gives me a deal, but whatever). I have a lot of more catching up to do, and all the work that I do at Anchor is worth it. As I am still lucky enough to love my job. My only complaint in life now is that I want to wear little sundresses and it's only 10 degrees here. That's not such a bad complaint.

Also excited to be saving to go to Chi next month. I need to visit my girls.

Funny

2010-02-13T10:09:00.000-06:00

Cat Cat Cat if you want to mess with the kittens in your house, play some of these. Stink-bomb was NOT amused. He keeps staring at the puter and even jumped up on the desk (which he knows is not allowed) to find mystery cat. Yes. I am a mean cat mommy.

Got the tips of my hair changed from red to hot pink on Tuesday. It's amazing. Jason is brilliant. And he "shattered" my bob, so it's more layered. Love it. Love him.

Had session #2 at the gym. I did 42 crunches in a minute. Guess that's good, or at least, average according to Dan. Starting to go regularly next week. Little scared, as I really have no idea how to work the machines, but what the heck. I joined for a reason and won't waste the money. Will be good to work off frustration, too, on the treadmill.

Still trying to make the magic bundt cake. I need a pan tho. Need to go to Target in the next day or so anyhoo. Cat food, shampoo, etc. Maybe a red velvet bundt cake? Still dwelling on this.

Power cleaning around the apartment also, as we have P's best friend coming to town with his lady on Monday.

Talked to my girl Jil about my trip to Chi (prolly after St. Patrick's Day), and she's tagging along. She has family out there, so ride sharing! Yay! Gas discount!

Hot Second Before Work

2010-02-06T14:51:00.001-06:00

Today was good. A little weird, but good.
Got up, ran to the gym and got lessons on how to work the machines (whatever, it was a lot of info in a little time). Ran to The Anchor to meet up with my cousin who I haven't seen in 6 years. That was weird. Maybe more updates on that soon. It was good, but bizarre.

Home to check email and change clothes.

The madness in my life never ends. Really.

Ouch!

2010-01-29T09:25:00.001-06:00

Well, I went down to The Ink Lab on Wednesday and got it done! What I love most about going to see David Dettloff is that all I have to do is try and (lamely) explain what I want, and he comes up with something even better than what I see in my head! All I asked for was "Er, a little something like this DVD cover, but not Edward's face or body, replace the butterfly with a ball of yarn...?" I walk in and it's perfect. What was the worst part was all the black work. Sitting through the little one needle detailing was fine, but that 5 needle scrape scrape scrape over and over and over to get the black just RIGHT...! 3/4 of the way through, I wasn't sure if I wanted to punch David or myself. Before either of us got married, we hung out a lot. I miss that bastard. He's done about 95% of my work, and as much as it pains me to stroke his already overinflated ego, he's brilliant and gifted. Jerk.

I've decided to hit Chicago next month. Maybe late next month, when it starts warming up. I need my LJ/Knitty/Maggiepants fix! It's been waaaaaaay too long. I just hate travelling when it's cold. Oh, and I'd better sign up again for AAA. Better safe than sorry and all that. Unless I fly down. Hrm. That could be an option. I'll have to check rates. And see what's going on in the rockabilly and SM scenes down there. Maybe I can squeeze in a show. Now I have to contact Ms. Kiss to see what's coming up and plan around that!

Joined a gym this week too. Let's hope that after my orientation tomorrow I'm still as stoked. Really want to get rid of the middle softness. And one of the girls I work with belongs to the same one, so we can motivate each other. Apparently, K doesn't go like she should, so we're going to force each other before work.

Today, make grocery store list (go tomorrow after orientation), and then staff meeting Across The Street before work. Considering the hour right now, a nap is probably in order, too. I'd hit the store today, but I'm feeling really really lazy right now.

Holy Cats

2010-01-24T11:36:00.001-06:00

Ah, I love Miss Jenny-Pants. This was taken at the Anchor Holiday party 2 weeks ago and I love love love this pic. See the little anchor on my shoulder? I'm branded now and they can never fire me. Says me.

Where to start? Brett got out of the hospital, and is doing better. He has this new fancy wheelchair now that's electric and buzzes him around. Problem is, it has to be recharged like a cell phone all the fucking time. We had Christmas at his place last Monday and it was wonderful. I made lasagna, mom brought salad and bread and it was a great feast. Finally got my copy of Nightmare Before Christmas, Brett and Lynda got me an awesome vintage looking sweater, mom went all out and got us a Shark vacuum thing and me some Red Door. P got new chefs pants and a sweet sweet cowboy shirt that I will steal if he doesn't wear it.

Mugger boy had his day in court on Wednesday. They dropped the charge against me because he pled guilty to a terrorist thing. Seems he threatened his sister with a gun then beat the shit out of her. I didn't go to the hearing, and my helper-outer at the Gov't Dept said it was probably good, as he's a freaking sociopath. Denied everything while pleading guilty and being all pretty and charming. Ew. He's in inpaitent counselling for 6 months to a year and on probation until he's 21. If he messes up in that time, he gets to go to big boy jail. He also has til he's 21 to (shoot, I can't think of the proper word) pay me back the $250 that I'm out of because of the stuff in my purse and missed work. Yeah, I'll be holding my breath on that one.

Went out dancing last night for the first time in over a year. It was great. Hung out with my friend Ron a lot and danced on him. Saw a bunch of ppl that I miss a lot and was terribly happy.

Things are good. Not great yet, but good.

Happy (Tardy) New Year!

2010-01-06T08:41:00.000-06:00

Well, I was lucky enough to have a fabulous time on NYE. We locked the doors early at the restaurant, and proceeded to have our own private party. There was a lot of dancing, singing, hugging and kissing. I'm just mad at myself for not bringing the camera! There are some pictures out there, but once I see them, I may be too terrified to post them...just kidding!

No big drama yet as of this year. Let's hope it stays that way.

Other than that, I don't really have anything. Brett is still in the hospital, but he sounds a little better. He hasn't been up for company, so much to mom's dismay, I haven't been over to see him in a few weeks. But I call often and ask. If he doesn't want company, that's his deal. I'm not going to force myself on him if he doesn't. Anyhoo, when I DO go visit, he's usually napping from the dope. I can watch tv at home, thank you.

My knee scab is almost gone from my mugging. The fact that I keep picking at it a little doesn't help. I got a lovely follow up email from the Officer that helped me that day. Another reason I adore my neighborhood so much! That would NEVER have happened in Uptown, unless the Officer that responded to my call was my friend Dean. But then Dean would have been stopping by everyday to see how I was doing.

Overall...

2009-12-26T12:11:00.000-06:00

Christmas was saved due to my dear friends Randy and Amity. I called my bro to see when a good visit time for him would be, and as it turned out, his wife's parents drove her and his two girls out to the hospital to see him. After spending too much time with a hyper 4 year old who totally MISSED her DADDY, he wasn't up for more company. I felt a little sad, but understood. I've been trying to get a hold of him for a while today, but no avail. The nurse said he's been in with his doctors. I have to be at work at 4, so we'll see.

Ended up going over last night for Christmas Dinner at our friends, Randall and Amity. Their friend Mary was there too. We ate a lovely ham, au gratin taters, garlic cheese biscuits, and spicy shrimp. Then we played Wii bowling and some other game that was hysterical where stick figures try and break into your castle and you have to pick them up and smash them into the ground.

Later, our friends Brett and Erin called, and we met them for a drink Across The Street. I didn't stay late, and ended up at home watching "Eight Legged Freaks". One of the better B movies made recently.

I have a tattoo appt on Wednesday. Little anchor on my shoulder and talking drawings about the Edward Scissorhands/knitting one to match Jack Skellington on my right arm. Leftover Christmas money from the in laws!

Still holding tight for the New Year. I'm totally over 2009.

Merry????

2009-12-25T11:30:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday/Merry Xmas to me!

I spent some of the Birthday money on this ring that I got from my in-laws. I love it and will never take it off. I'll think of them when I wear it and keep that damn blue box! It was so cute, the check that they wrote out said in the memo line "NOT FOR BILLS". I love my in-laws.

Brett is still in hospital. He didn't get his day pass, and the wife and kiddos couldn't visit him due to the storm. Gar. So, I'm cupboard diving, trying to figure out a meal to bring to him. Nothing is open today, so this should be interesting.

Had planned to hit up church last night for midnight mass, but all the ones within walking distance (and there are A LOT around here) had cancelled. Or they heard that I was coming... Ended up knitting and watching Die Hard. Hey, it's a Christmas movie! I asked for Nightmare Before Christmas for Christmas, but we haven't had it yet. So, yippeekyeyay, motherfucker it was. And I'm okay with that.

Maybe hitting up my friend Randy's place for dinner tonight, after the hospital run, or just hanging out Across The Street.

Well, shit.

2009-12-23T08:59:00.000-06:00

I'm sure if you've been following my blog, you know about this through G* or email. But I get some sort of sick pleasure out of posting this pic.

In a nutshell (in case you DON'T know for any bizarre reason), I was jumped and mugged last Friday. Seems like they got the kid. I couldn't ID him, so my girlfriend who I was with did, and the guys at the liquor store.

The trip to and from Bemidji was good. As far as 8 1/2 hours in a car with my mother who just lost her brother could be. The funeral was lovely, and I got to see cousins I hadn't seen in years. It's always weddings and funerals. OH, and it was a military burial. I'd never been to one. Uncle Gerry had served in Korea, and to be honest, it was really cool. On the way home, we stopped at Morey's Fish in Motley, MN (hah, the jokes about being The Motley Sheriff were neverending), and picked up some of the best dill herring I have ever had.

Back to work last night (my "safe place"). shadygrove from G* was in town, and she, her hub, Del, and Ms. Nutkin (and her boy) came by too! I was able to have a glass of wine with them after my shift. We talked a lot about G* topics (esp the power of words), and it was lovely. We need more G* meetups. I was dumb enough to not remember my camera, but Ms. N of course, had hers and took a ton. Will share soon.

Finished up the Mpls family Xmas shopping yesterday too. What a clusterfuck. I hate the mall, but mom mentioned something that she wanted that I didn't bother to order online in time, so I braved Rosedale. Scary. But I also replaced the Warm Vanilla Sugar lotion that was in my mugged purse with some of my Xmas money from the inlaws along with bath wash and cologne in the same scent. I like it, because the boys at work tell me I smell like a cookie. I think that's a compliment...

Brett is still in the hospital. His third surgery on his hand was postponed and it seems like they are going to let him home for the holiday. But he lives in New Prague, which is about an hour and a half from NE Mpls. If this storm that they are talking about hits tonight, I'm not driving out. Sorry. We can reschedule.

Gar.

Quick Update

2009-12-18T14:00:00.000-06:00

Before I go to work. Uncle Gerry died on Tuesday, as many of you know. I didn't really know the man as an adult, but saw him a lot as a kiddo on family vacations up to the Iron Range. Yeah, some ppl get to go to Disneyland as kids, I get the Iron Range.

My brother was admitted to the hospital on Monday for a hand bleed. They did surgery on him on Wednesday and took him back into surgery at 4 am today. Ergo, the trip up to the Iron Range on Sunday for Monday's funeral is up in the air, as we have to see how he is doing. Looks like Xmas this year is a total bust, as he'll most likely be hospitalized. I have no idea what is going on anymore. I feel like I'm in the eye of the hurricane and don't know what is going to collapse next.

I'm almost scared to wake up tomorrow and see what else has happened.

"You Know, You Should..."

2009-12-12T08:13:00.000-06:00

This was pretty much my morning, sans the black eye. Watch all of these little cartoons - they are brilliant. Woke up after going to bed at 3ish due to cats jumping on my head. I love P to death, but I can never get him to feed the monsters before he leaves for work. So, he leaves, they're all riled up, then want to eat. And there is no food in the bowl. I usually feed them before I go to bed, but with 3 of the critters, it doesn't always last 4 hours. Ergo, I'm up and will have to take a nap in a little bit.

My Snowflake got her package, and said she loves it! Yay! I was worried. To me, family shopping/gifting is easy, but there is such a high bar on G*.

On the job front...things are still great, but the honeymoon is OVER. We've been open for 2 1/2 months now, and already the "Well, you know, you should..." comments are starting. Here is a minor list of things we "should" do:

Knock out the wall and expand the restaurant
Be open for lunch
Carry merlot, as it goes better with fish
Change the name of the Shepard's Pie to Cottage Pie as we don't use pork in it
Deliver
Take reservations
Open before opening hours to let ppl in to have a beer while they wait (SERIOUSLY, I GOT THAT ONE YESTERDAY)

Don't get me started on the vegetarians. Please don't misinterpret that, I love v* food myself, but proper Irish FnC are fried in beef oil. And so are our chips. Which makes them so yummy!!! And we can't afford or have the space for a special fryer for just vegetable oil.

Oh, and one more crack about not having malt vinegar? Postal.

I love love love my job. But it never fails to amuse me how ppl think that they can make our restaurant "better" by taking their suggestions. Yep, there is usually a half hour to 45 min wait, especially on the weekends. We can only seat about 40 in the whole space. And your party of 12? Is probably going to have to wait a long time. :)

Birthday!

2009-12-10T11:00:00.001-06:00

Okay, it was on Monday, but details, details. I had my 3rd annual Toys for Tots b-day party at Grumpy's NE. It was a huge success! That is me, Kathryn, Alisha, and Jenny. My new hair is great! Dark brown with red tips. Love it.

This is me and Lucinda - one of the best girls ever to cross my path.

Look at part of the haul! Hoping to make a bunch of kiddos really happy this year!

I don't really have anything else to say today, other than off to run errands and TCB. Life is good.

Home

2009-12-05T13:59:00.000-06:00

Got home last night after the funeral. It was really surreal, and reminds me that I need to keep in better touch with my friends. Made some new ones too.

Back to work tonight - I'm looking forward to it. This story from The City Pages made my day. Except for the last paragraph, which I am still mildly mortified over. Yep, that was me. But, on the other hand, I've gotten a nice following of customers that request me.

Off to dry my freshly colored hair, via Jason the other day. I'd post a link to his sight, but he doesn't have one. If you live in Minneapolis, go see him. His shop is next to the Double Deuce, across the street from Grumpy's. You'll prolly get a beer during... And he's a cutie sweetie pie.

sigh

2009-11-29T10:30:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I found out that a dear friend passed away. Alex Werner was one of the kindest, gentelest souls I have ever known. He moved in next door to us when we lived on Lyndale, and there were some times that I thought that he had actually moved in with us. He was one of P's first friends in Minneapolis. If anyone has seen the movie "Over The Hedge", he was Hammy the squirrel.

The day P proposed to me, I was sick at home, watching a movie on the couch. P and Alex walked in and P threw a box at me and said "Wear this while you watch your movie". I opened the box, saw the ring, and threw it back at P and told him if he wanted me to wear it, he'd better do it up right. Alex stood there for a second, and said "Dudes, I'm outta here" and ran out the back door.

He was always coming over with small gifts for us or mowing our lawn, as once he started something, hey, may as well do the neighbor's too. A day or so before P and I got married, he was in a car accident, but still managed to show up, neckbrace and all.

Alex always had a hug for you. I'm going to miss him very much.

Thanksgiving!

2009-11-27T10:20:00.000-06:00

Mom and I went to Nye's for Thanksgiving dinner early yesterday afternoon. We had a fabulous time - she had some sort of chicken and wild mushroom stroganoff and I had beef tenderloin. Spent a lot of time gushing over One Yard Wonders by the fabulous people at Crafty Planet.

Just had to throw in a pic of the super cool piano bar too. I love Nye's and wish I could go more often!

After that, we went to see the new "Twilight" movie. It was okay, really kind of full of the "Omigod, I can't live without you" barfiness. Someone on another board made a good point of this making young girls thinking that THAT is what love is IRL. Which it isn't. Even I succumb to that thought sometimes. I love a good chick flick every once in a while, all the "happily ever after" stuff and all, but everyone knows that everyone farts. Both literally and figuratively. Which is kind of why I like Adam Sandler movies. I know he plays the big stupid kid, but at least it's a lot more honest. Not everyone (um, is ANYONE) is like Tom Hanks in any of his Meg Ryan movies? Okay, maybe Tom Hanks himself is, but I'm pretty sure he farts.

Anyhow, after that, we decided to do the drive down Nicollet Mall. The Mall is usually reserved for buses, taxis, and cops, but one day a year (Thanksgiving) they let street traffic on to look at the lights. It was nothing special and we waited about 20 minutes to get started. So, we turned off halfway though and decided that next year we are either going to bring sparklers to hold out the car windows or stand on the corner with signs that say "Don't Bother".

Mom dropped me off, and I ended up watching "Night at the Museum". It was actually rather clever. And I'm not Ben Stiller's Number One Fan. Noticed that BooBoo the cat was under the couch slipcover, but didn't really think anything about it, as she's kind of a dork. About a half an hour later, she started making sad mewling noises (I'm sure Stink batting at her didn't help), and I realized that she was stuck. Took me almost 15 minutes to dig her out. I have no idea how that butterball of a cat got in there.

Decided to finish off my night with a nightcap at G's. It was great, as half the staff from The Anchor was there. There was a lot of hugging. I love that I work with super huggy/kissy co-workers. Except R, but he's warming up.

Off to putz around the apt a bit, then errands and work. Whew.

2009-11-22T09:17:00.000-06:00

Hooray! Look at meeeeeeee! I'm hanging out with Jenny Hart of Sublime Stitching! Actually, it was more of a stalking thing that night, as she was busy, and I stood around and watched her be a rock star and sign autographs. We did take a few "time outs" to chat. It was probably the highlight of my dismal year. Not to gush, because there were a lot of other really cool things that happened this year (Art a Whirl with LJ, getting a job I love, etc), it was just terribly exciting to meet her in person. We've been chatty on the crafty website that I hang out on, but to be able to actually reach out and poke her in the shoulder and think "wow, you ARE real and awesome and amazing" was pretty cool. Kind of like the first time I met LJ and Knitty. So there.

On a downer note, my mom is in the hospital (LJ, is this just weird or what? Our moms not doing so hot). Don't think it's a huge deal, but a PITA, as Thanksgiving is coming up. Well, THAT sounded bitchy. Not that Mom is in charge of making me a ton of food and all (we went out last year to Nye's and it rocked), but what I mean is that it's just not fair that she got ill around the holiday. AND just after my bro got out of the hospital. WHY IS IT that I'm probably the most unhealthy person in my family and over all these years, all I've had to deal with is an appendix removal in 1989 and my cataracts this year. Oh, and the breast tumor thing in 1988. But still...NOT FAIR. Really.

I've been having the best time working on my SSnowflake package, but just concerned that it may not be up to par due to all the BS. When mom gets sick, she gets SICK and needs help. Or maybe I like to think that, as I like hanging out at her place and "helping". My "helping" usually means cleaning the cat box, fixing her dinner, and doing my laundry there and chilling out. It's like a mini vacation for me.

I need a nap.

A Day for ME

2009-11-15T09:11:00.001-06:00

It's hard to type with a cat hogging up your lap...

Yesterday, I took the day for ME. It was lovely. I spent a great brunch with my girlfriend, Chrissy, and it just so happened that my friends Adam and Erin were there also. Then I went to find my girlfriend, Mary, at her coffee shop, but I had missed her. Walked across the street to the LYS, and went in for exactly what I wanted/needed and didn't spend an extra penny! Came home, took a nap, and watched 2 hours of Law and Order while working on Snowflake gifts. I did NO chores, and nothing that I didn't want to do. It was a great day...and something I need to do more often!

Today, it's back to the grind. Must color my hair, pick up a bit, take a short nap (I woke up 10 minutes after P left for work, so if I want to be in good shape for work tonight, it must be done), then go to work. I have tomorrow off too, so depending on things, I'm not sure what that will entail. Unfortunately, it will probably be stuff around the house. Blech, but it needs to be done. And more Snowflake stuff, which is so NOT Blech!

Dear Glee

2009-11-12T10:28:00.000-06:00

Thank you for probably the best ever tv show episode last night. You completely captured my high school days. To use the cliche, I laughed and I cried.

Wow.

2009-11-11T09:37:00.000-06:00

Much better today - last week was kind of an emotional disaster. Nuff said.

Still waiting on the arrival of the new phone. For anyone reading this who doesn't know, my Razr took a dump last week and P ordered a new one for me online. It's taking forever to get! Should arrive today. I hope it's pink... :)

Thinking about Xmas cards and little gifties. My goal is to not spend a lot. I'm thinking the boys get gift cards, the girls get expensive chocolates, and the neices get...that's a hard one. Art supplies! There we go. List done. Whew. Okay, the youngest neice won't get art supplies (she's 7 months old). I'll find a cute toy somewhere. Now list is done.

Other than Snowflake, but I have all day Saturday off to play with that! Have some plans in the works.

Had a gal in that doing a blog called My Year of Waiters where she talks to and photographs the servers that wait on her. It's really cute and I'm the most recent. How fun is that?

Also, The Anchor was featured on The City Pages (our local weekly rag) slideshow and my painting was in there! Hooray! No credit tho, but I can live with that.

There is something really wrong with my left knee. I thought it was due to an old knee problem, but it seems now to be behind the knee itself. I can't straighten it out without pain. Not screaming "get me a Vicoden" pain, but really uncomfortable pain, and it makes me limp a little. Bleah. Will stretch before work and see if that helps...

2009-11-04T10:26:00.000-06:00

Hrm. I'm tired. Really tired. Should go back to bed for a little nap before work, but hanging out and waiting to talk to my best girls online (it is Wednesday, isn't it???). I forgot how to balance life and work. There are so many things I want to do (esp with Xmas coming up, I have many ducks that need to get back in their rows), and I need to TCB.

Still loving my job to death. This is wonderful!

Working on my Snowflake plans, and it's making me a little nuts. Not in a bad way, just in a sort of "get your act together, girl, and stop being so willy-nilly" way.

Can't find the pic of me and Chrissy from Halloween. Too tired to look for it, and do all the downloading. Gar.

Slightly crabby, so signing off.

Has It Really Been Four Weeks?

2009-10-21T11:29:00.000-05:00

Yes, it has. The net was shut off and P and I were so freaking broke, we couldn't afford to turn it on. Well, obviously, the money was scraped up and I'm back. Here's the scoop:

1. I'm working at The Anchor full time. Actually, maybe even over full time. I've lost track. Usually there 5-6 nights a week. I love it. I have no idea how I got so lucky to be there. Maybe my bad unemployed for forever karma reversed itself. Down part is, um, nothing!

2. Wheezy is back! Got her insured and her new tabs and she is ready to roll! Well, almost. After sitting in the garage for about 5 months, her tires went to hell. So, getting a new used one for her front paw. I was able to take her out for the last two days that hit in the mid-60's with the top down, so it's worth it. What's the point of owning a convertable if you can't drive around with the top down?

3. Working on super secret cakes for Anchor too. Would go to grocery store and bake my ass off today, but still waiting on tire.

4. P's finally employed also. Thank god. He seems to like it, so that helps too!

Ducks are Whack Again

2009-09-18T18:01:00.000-05:00

Over booked myself today. That, along with stress re: this job I SO WANT, gave me a headache. I think the interview went well, but now having second thoughts. Enough about that.

Good stuff:

3 loads of dishes done. Finally.
Anchor tasting next week.
Framed painting for Anchor finally back, must paint frame tomorrow.
Baking cookies for a friend tomorrow for some party.
Chicken roasting right now.
Knitty does not hate me (personal paranoid complex on Wednesday)!
Rented "Twilight" and "Caraline"!
Across The Street wants to give me shifts asap!
Bottle of wine. Nom. Paid for with tips from last night. Desperately needed, no excuses.
Hanging out with the boy downstairs a lot lately. He "helps" me paint. Must get him his own stuff to paint, as as much as I adore him, he's kind of futzing with my art.
Planning get away with LJ, Knitty and Maggster. I'm thinking Tomah, Wisconsin in May for their City Garage Sale. How cool would that be? Found an awesome resort to stay in too. Can't wait!

One thing I'm seriously pissed about. Macy's is having a HUGE eyeglass sale $99 for bifocals, no line, and I don't have the cash for it. Damn.

Eff Jinxing

2009-09-17T08:45:00.000-05:00

I'm over it. I have decided by trying so hard to not jinx a job, I'm jinxing myself out of it. I have also taken the entire week off from job hunting, as my new theory is that I'm so crazy busy applying for jobs, that I'm not focusing positive vibes on getting jobs that I really want. So, all week, I have decided to put my eggs in one basket and hope to hell that I don't drop the damn thing.

1. I have an interview tomorrow to work in a doggie food place. This means that I would work in the warehouse and helping bake doggie treats. Physical labor sounds GREAT after a summer of sitting on my backside. My girlfriend Laura works there and put in a good word for me. I will get this job (positive thinking).

2. Looks like The Anchor Fish and Chips will be opening in 2 weeks. While I have been "hired" as a waitress, I'm second tier, which means that if they need more ppl than their core staff, I'm next in line. IMHO, 4 servers is NOT enough to run a restaurant 6 days a week, even if they don't open until 4 p.m. Srsly. So, there is another egg. The dry run is next week and I'm going to that (hopefully there will be FOOD also - I'm so excited for their menu!!!).

3. The last egg is pretty awesome. My friend Skilly is a waitress Across The Street and when I brought in fresh out of the damn oven rhubarb muffins for her and Erich, she mentioned that she hasn't been on a real vacation in 5 years and was taking one come hell or high water. Problem is, is that they don't have enough servers to cover her shifts. Today she is talking to the boss about me picking up her shifts! I don't see any reason why he would say "bad idea". Esp since I give him cookies.

4. Girlfriend Laura who works at the doggie food place also asked me if I want to do a showing at her little gallery. I started working on the paintings yesterday. Considering next month is October, I'm going with a Day of the Dead theme.

So, there you have it. I'm willing to work 7 days a week and double shifts to get back on the financial money track. Let's get this shit going!

Holy Cats

2009-09-10T20:45:00.000-05:00

It really has been a month A FREAKING MONTH since I've posted. I'm ashamed. I have kept meaning to, but the muse wasn't hanging around the puter. Don't know where she went - maybe lost in the Room of Doom? Betcha. Must clean out RoD this weekend and see if I can't find her.

I have been spending a significant amount of time at my mom's. She had HER cataract surgery done and then some weird sort of gastro-intestinal thing, so that was 4 weeks of 3 days a week at her place making sure she didn't do anything stupid while on the loopy juice.

P and I had our 4th annual Labor Day BBQ this past Sunday. Nice and small, but fun. I actually managed to clean most of the house, except for the bedroom and RoD.
Menu as follows:

The World Famous Spinach Orzo Salad

Mashed Cauliflower (except I omitted the instant mashed taters - ew)

Various Cheese and Crackers

Filo Cups with Brie and a Cranberry on top (cube of brie in the cup, bake 10 min @ 350, top with cranberry or two from a can - NOT the jelly)

Filo Cups with Crab Goo recipie from my MIL

Portobella Mushrooms sliced up and marinated in olive oil, balsamic vinegar, garlic and salt and pepper then chucked on the grill

Elk meat NOM

Corn, Brats, and burgers

It was a hell of a spread, if I do say so myself. Oh, P DID do the grilling... ;)

What else has been going on? Summer was a total bust, didn't hit The Fair or a single Saints game due to no money. Will prolly have to bail on RenFest too. Oh well.

P DID get a job! Hired Tuesday and starts in two weeks. Let's hope all is good and it sticks, cause I can't take more of this. Fingers crossed for me, I'm still sending out 5 resumes a day and STILL NO BITES. Which, of course, bites.

Tomorrow is my last appt with The Good Doctor. I'm very sad. Meeting up with him and his staff every week was the highlight of my weeks over the summer. It was just nice to get out of the house, dress up a little (hey, I'm going downtown with the big kids who have jobs, I don't want to look like a total slug!), and spend time in the bookstore while waiting for the bus. Currently, I have rhubarb bars in the oven, have Balsamic Vinegar Fudge Cookies cooling, and making a card for TGD's staff. They have been so lovely to me and seriously, they all deserve a huge thank you. Must remember to write down ingredients in case of allergies.

Next up is a Roasted Garlic Chicken that I'll be making. Shit. We can barely afford rent and the bills, but they give us plenty for food, so we shall eat like kings before being thrown on the streets. Just Kidding, did I mention that P's employed? Right now, he's playing a show at Big V's. I stayed home because between being with my mom for over 48 hours a week and then P and I together the rest of the week, I get no ME time. So here I am, blogging away happily.

Also hitting up a few more jobbie job prospects tomorrow after eye appt. Shoot, who knew that being unemployed would be so BUSY?

Weekend Adventures

2009-08-11T14:56:00.001-05:00

Where to start again? I should be doing this daily!

Saturday, I was supposed to hang out with mom at the Uptown Art Fair. It was her birthday weekend and that's what she wanted to do. Let it be known, I HATE THE UPTOWN ART FAIR. It's not all local artists, it's crowded, it's (IMHO) pretty crappy art, and it's expensive and a PITA to get around at. Luckily, it was supposed to storm that day, so she cancelled on me. It just sprinkled a lot that day, and I felt guiltily grateful.

Sunday, P drove me out to her place, we visited a bit, P left, and mom and I were taken to The Chanhassen Dinner Theater for Always...Patsy Cline. I'm not going to lie. I was rather dreading it. 1. Dinner theater always makes me think about rubber chicken and poor acting by ppl who never made it "big" 2. Dinner with my mom and brother is always a little weird. I can have dinner with one or the other, but both for some reason is awkward. I don't know why. Maybe memories of childhood? I don't have any idea. But it was very nice. Except the iceburg dinner salad. EW. The chicken I had was pretty good, and the wild rice was super yum. The show was lovely. I was afraid it was going to be a "tribute show" (think Elvis) and that was it. But there was a great storyline about this little gal in Texas who LOVED Patsy and how she got to meet her. The gal that played Patsy was quite good (and anyone who knows me, knows I'm a snob about that sort of thing). All in all, it was a wonderful evening, and a big thanks to my generous brother.

Monday, Mom and I went out to lunch at The Edina Grill where one of her girlfriends had given her a GC to. It was really yummy. I got the grilled salad with shrimp and a beer, mom had the spinach salad and a glass of wine. Not that my salad didn't rock, but hers was better (nibbler!). She brought me back into the city, and we split a drink across the street. I introduced her to D, my friend who is in her age bracket, but I got a NO look from her. I tried!

Today's been quiet. Dishes. Thinking about design that I want to put on Thank You card for The Good Doctor's office team. Planning cookie bonanza for Thursday. Oh, and thinking about dinner too....

I Can (mostly) See Clearly Now...

2009-08-06T15:16:00.000-05:00

Both eyes done. I am getting tiny headaches, but The Good Doctor said that may happen, due to getting used to seeing light clearly again. It really is a "Wizard of Oz" type experience, like when Dorothy enters brightly colored Oz from grey Kansas. Yeah, Brad Warner talks about never gaining true "enlightenment", I challenge that. Just kidding! It's a completely different kind of enlightenment. I wish I could really explain the change. Maybe like seeing "Spiderman" on a 10 inch black and white TV, then watching it at IMAX in 3-D? My depth perception is still a titch off, but The Good Doctor said that will go away.

I drove again today, and that was exciting. No panic attacks or nothing scary. Even made myself drive on the freeway for a few miles. Did it in heels, too. Take that!

Last weeks job interviews went well. I didn't get Job 1 (which is fine, as much as I WANT to work, I want a job I'll enjoy, and this didn't "feel" right). Was supposed to have 2nd interview with Job 2 today, but the guy double booked, so I have to go out tomorrow again. Oh well, no biggie. It's not like I went in and they said "Oh, God! Thought we got rid of YOU!". I've been still looking online for stuff, but it seems to have dried up a bit. And my pride won't let me manage and Applebee's quite yet. Yet...

I still need to work on finishing up my Adventures in Cataracts zine that I think will be helpful to others. Also, have decided that this place WILL get clean. No matter what. Somehow. Because now I can REALLY see how awful it got to. Don't even ask.

My girlfriend Chrissy's birthday is today. I promised her I'd wear the eyepatch and dress as a pirate for her. I really don't know who else I'd do this for. Now I have to figure out if I have any piratey clothes. I'm thinking my shredded skirt, the bustier, boots, and something weird with the hair. Or just a fucking bandanna. Wish I still had that pretty pirate fluffy shirt from the early 90's... Oh well!

I Think I Done Good

2009-07-30T15:34:00.000-05:00

On the interviews. I'm really really leaning to the 2nd, as for some reason I feel there would be less of me working BOH, but we'll see. Ha ha. Get it?

OH! And I DROVE THE CAR today for the first time since February. It was weird, and I'm still on the fence on if it was smart to do or not. My right eye made me feel like I had an extra blind spot, but I had to get to these interviews, and there was no way busing (bussing?) it would work. I have to admit, I got a huge thrill out of it. Felt like I just got my license for the first time! But I'm going to not drive again until after eye 2 gets done. It was just a little too unnerving. Or maybe I'm just being paranoid after not being behind the wheel for almost 7 months...

And I forgot how much bicyclists make me angry. Especailly ones that are in THE MIDDLE OF THE CAR LANE and have a dumb ass back pack that has a painting of a gas pump = stick man shooting himself in the head. Really. I'm all for carpooling, alt means of transportation, but 99% of the time, but ppl on the bikes don't follow the rules of the road and run red lights, stop signs, and don't ride safe. Swear, they make me crazy. Okay, that vent is done.

Ah, My Eye Doctor Said "Yo Adrienne" Today

2009-07-29T15:59:00.001-05:00

But I still adore him. Will let it slide because he is a snappy dresser. He had on a fabulous tie today.

Anyhoo, looks like things are coming along great. I'm very excited to get my next eye done on the 4th, but I want to make a few paintings this weekend that kind of express the duality of what I see before it's gone. It's kind of crazy, my eyesight now. Clarity on the left, and madness on the right. I feel like Two Face from Batman sometimes. But I get to wear makeup again in about 2 weeks! Mascara, here I come!

Been eating much better. Bean salads, roasted broccoli, chickpeas, salad salads, trying to get rid of bread (oh, but I love my bread). My girlfriend Alex just sent me a recipe for cream cheese sauce that I can use on pasta. If I use it on Whole Wheat Pasta with my roasted broccoli, does that make it okay? Gar. I love cream cheese. I really love it. Esp the chive onion Philly. NOM for cucumber/cream cheese sammaches. On pita or whole grain bread. Can that cancel out like Twinkies and Diet Coke? Oh, I miss the 80's sometimes....

Two, count them, TWO job interviews tomorrow! Both for pizza/italian places. Nice. Very very very (did I say very?) excited and nervous. Worried about the ink. Ppl get a little freaked out about it sometimes, but I don't regret them at all. Which makes it a strange barrier to overcome as I "don't look like" a girl that is overly tattooed. I don't have dreads, bizarre hair color (today), and dress pretty conservatively. Ask LJ. I'm really norm looking except for the ink and some of the homemade clothes! Okay, maybe the eyepatch throws ppl, but I only have to wear it one more day. Which breaks my heart a bit.

What Happens When A Pirate Forgets to Blog? She's TAAAAAAAAARRRRRRDY!

2009-07-25T12:54:00.000-05:00

It's been way WAY too long since I've posted. Sorry, kids. Well, the first eyeball surgery went much better than expected. Swear to god, that I was terrified. Um, yeah, scalpel plus eyeball plus weird little plastic thing inserted into said eyeball equals OMG. The guy that inserted that IV catheter thingy into my hand was NOT GENTLE. This happened Tuesday and my hand still has a huge freaking bruise on it! Other than that, it went really well. I couldn't see the knife carving into my eye, all I could see were pretty colors. Before the whole shebang, I was lying in the cot/bed with the heart rate thing attached to my finger, the IV in, and a blood pressure cuff on. I watched my heart rate and did some breathing/meditation exercises and was able to lower it to below 70. Considering some of the anxiety that I was feeling, I was rather happy with that result.

My doctor was super nice and very reassuring. Next thing I knew, I was being steadied by a nurse at the door while the hub pulled around the car. Went home, and promptly zapped out on the couch for 4 hours. Got up, ate some food and zapped out again. Wednesday, I was pretty wiped out still, so took it easy. I had been able to remove the patch (with the gauze) before bed Tuesday night, but was so wonked that didn't really do anything other than put in my eyedrops. Wednesday was amazing though.

The colors are back. The glorious colors! BLUE! RED! GREEN! THE FREAKING SKY! The trees are detailed! I can recognize my neighbors by sight rather than voice!

My next eye shall be done on the 4th. I can't wait -

Other Funny Stuff

2009-07-16T19:48:00.000-05:00

God knows I need it.

I had to get an EKG test today for my surgery. I totally understand that they have to cover their backs and make sure I don't pass out/drop dead on the operating table. But it was FUNNY. Esp since it's called an Electrocardigram. Where does the "K" come from? They put about 8 tapey things on my chest and sides and belly and hooked up jumper cable type things. The whole thing of taping and hooking up and unhooking up and untaping took longer than the test. To shut down the debates that I don't have a heart are now officially declared. The machine says I do. Take that!

Okay, on another funny note, The Rev. Horton Heat is going to be at
First Avenue the night before my surgery. This is one of the few bands that my bro and I agree on. Luckily, I have an "in" and can get us on the pest list. I haven't been to a show with my bro since he was 21. Um, that was a while ago. A LONG while ago. And what the hell. It's free and I need a fun night before getting my eyeball ripped open. Viva NA Beer! Let's see if I can figure out how to embed this...

Oooh! Yay me, I did it!

My life is filled with silly dumb surprises...

ETA: Typotastic.

Sticker Shock

2009-07-16T13:32:00.001-05:00

OMG - my fucking eyedrops that I had to get today were nearly $200. I hope to GOD that I don't need to refill them, as that's about it for whatever was left of the generous donations from friends. Found out that my co-pay is also $200 for each eye. What would all this be WITHOUT insurance? I shudder to think.

Tuesday I went in for a weird little pre op thing. They did ultrasounds on my peepers! They numbed my eyes and put this weird cup with the laser thingy and rubbed it on my eyeballs. A very strange sensation. I guess it kind of gave me a bit of a "feel" for what happens Tuesday.

I found THIS great image that kind of explains what I've been seeing for the past few months:

The worst thing is not being able to read a book or do the crossword anymore. It's so FRUSTRATING! Don't get me started on not being able to use the sewing machine... I just want this over with!

Thank You LJ

2009-07-07T15:16:00.000-05:00

“I look forward with horror to utter darkness,” Cassatt wrote in 1919, fearing that an operation on her left eye would be “as great a failure as the last one.” It was, and she stopped painting.

This small comment from your NY Times story (which I LOVE), really hit home. Once again, I thank you for everything that you are doing for me now, but for everything that you do. You and Knitty and Alex have really come through for me in ways that I never imagined.

I think I've sewn my last project last night - DANGER! lol. But the painting will continue. I refuse this BS to stop me, and like the article mentioned, I feel that this will be a part of the record of my life.

Had a job interview today which I think went well and they know all about the eyes and are looking to hire in August, when my surgery will be done. Vibes, for that too, please!

Heads Up

2009-07-07T00:53:00.000-05:00

I don't know how much I'll be posting here or on Glitter for a while. My eyes are really shot to hell, and the puter glare is killing me. I can't read books/mags anymore (oh, the PAIN of that!), but what I have done is start a blind journal. With any luck, I will make it into an ongoing commentary of my adventures in near blindness. I've started making drawings of what I "see" and it's been interesting so far.

Please be paitient with me. I'll do what I can, but right now I'm typing by muscle memory and can't spellcheck. If Alex, Knitty, or LJ read this, please spread the word. The "brightness" on my moniter is set at 13 right now and I'm still trying to work off of oh hell, I don't even know now.

Didn't they think that Monet had cataracts? Interesting...

I Know This Much Is True...

2009-06-29T18:09:00.000-05:00

This is pretty much how my friends have made me feel the past few days. That song is dedicated to everyone helping me. Really.

Honestly, I was in a really dark spot when I left Glitter. P had lost his job, I lost mine, and I can't see for shit. But with EyeballPalooza, Faith has been restored to me. I also (a sign maybe?) got the charms from the Woo Woo Swap, and I'm going to do my best to make them into a prayer/meditation charm link before my surgery to take with me.

Things had taken such a bad dump all this year since I got laid off/canned/the place locked their doors in early January. We were both unemployed until March. Things seemed to be looking up. Catching up on bills, etc. Actually one of my friends who I was talking to yesterday told me "it takes a month to fall behind and a year to catch up from that one month". No Kidding.

I just have to bend and accept all the kindness I've been given lately. It's hard for me, as LJW has always (and Knitty too) told me that I'm too much of a giver. But I was raised to be a caregiver. My dad and my brother. My mom taught me to be strong and not to rely on others. If it's this hard for me, what was it like for her?

Happy Father's Day, Daddy

2009-06-21T22:42:00.000-05:00

Your favorite song. I miss you.

Another Day In The Life

2009-06-20T21:55:00.000-05:00

Of the Unemployed.

Watched Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion today and thought to myself, well FUCK. While I don't have a cute guy who is rotten rich like Alan Cumming (no jokes from the peanut gallery on his name), I can do this wait apron shit.

It's just going to take time and love from the hub. Also started working on the major painting that I promised my friends K and J for their new restaurant.

I'd type more, but my eyes are going weird with the puter glow. I need this surgery so bad.

Oh, For Heaven's Sake...

2009-06-20T13:04:00.000-05:00

Got laid off yesterday. Spent the day on the couch watching my court shows and napping. That's how I deal with stress, so whatever.

Have already applied for unemployment, sent out 5 resumes, touched base with old contacts and drank my coffee. Supposed to go to a friend's open house today, but P's still crashed out, so I don't think that that's going to happen.

The stress of all of this is taking it's toll. I'm going to really buckle down and work on the damn wait aprons again and really start pushing them. Seems like my only option right now. We're behind on everything and lord knows, as much as I love my in-laws, moving in with them would just be bilious.

This would all be easier if I could just get my eye surgery over and done with. I can't drive, so I'm at the mercy of our bus system, which doesn't totally suck, but could be better. I have to figure out a way to keep my insurance with the temp agency. I told them throw me ANYTHING ASAP. So what if I'm making $12 an hour? It's better than nothing! Did apply at Barnes and Nobel, they need a store manager, which would ROCK. I'd be in heaven. Also applied at Origins at MOA - location sucky, but the job would be fun. Have a friend who works there, so that may be an "in". Contacted my old mentor at CK and asked her to keep her ears open and that I was willing to relocate to Milwaukee. Sent off an email to a gal I met at the benefit for Hank who works in PR too. Need just now to keep sewing and working on a huge painting for a friend's restaurant that's opening next month. I think I can afford primer for the wood.

I'm trying to get over this melancholic mood I'm in. It's difficult. I miss being the old sanguine gal that I usually am. Can you tell that I'm so trying to catch up with Word of the Day? I'm tired of feeling phlegmatic. Time to get with the program again. Ducks, watch out!

Life as it were....

2009-06-14T12:18:00.000-05:00

Still slapping on that happy face.

Lee Rocker will be here on the 27th. This is good. I love this man. I can't wait to see him! Everyone had a fave Stray Cat, but mine was always Lee, not the obvious Brian Setzer.

Lee has told me that Bulletproof was inspired by my chest ink, but I think he's just being nice.

P got laid off on Friday. That's all I have to say about that.

I didn't go to the Keelhaul show, as I was tuckered. A quiet night in watching
Dexter was more up my alley. LMAO right now, as when I posted the link, I started hearing the theme song. Thought it was in my head, but the site plays it. I'm going insane, I tell you...

I was thinking about how WF pushes volunteering. Then I got into a big deep thought about the difference between volunteering in your neighborhood vs. a BIG CAUSE. I've done both. I'm on the side of hood, because I can witness the difference it makes, and who knows what the ppl behind THE BIG CAUSE are doing with the money. I've spent $150 on a seat at a benefit with all the bells and whistles, rubber chicken, big showboating. Where did the $150 go? I spent more than a few hours working my ass off for Hank's new leg and knew exactly where the money went. That felt better. And I didn't have to eat rubber chicken. I got a damn good burger. Therefore, I hearby declare my love for personal involvement. Don't ask me for cash because you are "walking" for something. Let me get my hands dirty and actually DO something. I'd much rather do that.

Maybe it's the Obama book that LJ gave me that's making me have all these thoughts. I'm taking my time with it, rather than speeding through, as it's great.

Went to Crafty Planet yesterday for fabric samples. The ones they don't choose (or whatever), I'll ship off to AJ for quilting scraps. Or maybe I'll keep them for whatever. I'm very excited to make aprons for my friends restaurant, and maybe that'll be good promotion. Who knows. I'm just trying to take everything one day at a time now. And the super awesome superhero custom capes for kids. I'm still mad at myself for not getting photos. I'll make a few more for friends and send them out AND TAKE PHOTOS. Really, girl, screw your head on right. Let's see, Frankie needs one, Maggiepants does, and maybe my girl Dez's kids need some. The design possiblites are endless.

5 Good Things

2009-06-13T15:27:00.000-05:00

Oh well for the love of fuck and all that's holy. One step forward, two steps back. NOT FAIR.

Working on Good Things still then!

1. Got to see one of my best girls, Kari, yesterday. Not enough time spent with her, but did get to see an old friend Tony also. KarKar lives in AZ now, and it's painful to be away from her. WHY DO ALL MY BEST GIRLS LIVE SO FAR AWAY?

2. Picked up fabric samples today from crafty planet for the aprons I've been asked to make. Some Sailor Jerry style, some with purple background and octupi and seahorses on them. CUTE. Also saw my friend Kristin there.

3. Keelhaul tonight. They aren't staying with us, so I don't have to powerclean.

4. Taking a nap today. I love naps.

5. Probably going to work on another superhero cape for my little pal Frankie. He needs one. No tulle though.

I'm wiped still from getting up at 4:45 yesterday. Nap it is!

More Good Things

2009-06-11T08:58:00.000-05:00

I'm still trying to pull positive sunshine out of my ass. How's that for a visual?

1. Stopped in at Grumpy's Downtown after work on Tuesday. Was asked for business cards regarding aprons. I shut down my etsy store, so now what? The cards do have my email addy on them though. I'm down to two anyhoo, so time to get cracking!

2. 101 Dalmations (live, not animated) is on tbs right now. Renforces my undying love for Hugh Laurie. And John Hughes. Did I mention the costume love I have for Glenn Close's Cruella? NOM.

3. It's Thursday.

4. New job assignment. Not sure where this lands, but I'll be working 7-4 now and fielding calls for processing. Means I have to get up around 4:45 to have morning coffee and start getting ready for bus.

5. The above means PRIME TIME TV. Law and Order SVU, here I come!

Good Things

2009-06-10T08:41:00.000-05:00

I'm only typing good stuff today, as I'm tired of being dreary. The rain hasn't been helping my blue mood, but I'm gonna make my own sunshine, dammit!

1. The Stiletto mascara is GREAT. I usually wear Great Lash (waterproof, as my eyes water a lot and now that I'm older, I cake on the undereye moisturizer), but still got the little racoon smudgies. This (and not being waterproof) did no such thing and made my lashes huge(er). I usually call bullshit on this sort of hype, but I love this stuff. On sale at Target right now, BTW.

2. My girlfriend Kari is in town and we're set up for brunch on Sunday at The Tasting Room. I'm very excited to see her pretty face and catch up. Why do all my girlfriends live so far awaaaaaaaaaay? Wait, that's not a good thing, so onward.

3. I've been asked to custom make wait aprons for a new restaurant opening next month. Must get ass to Crafty Planet to get fabric samples.

4. I got a giftie in the mail from LJ yesterday! You're going to have to pry the Simplicity Sewing Simply book out of my cold dead hands. I read it on the bus!

5. My girlfriend Larisa's mom is coming to town in a week. I love this woman and am looking forward to seeing her again! She's more like a girlfriend than a girlfriend's mom.

Five is a good number right off the top of my head, so I'll stop now.

Updates

2009-06-09T09:28:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's been two weeks since I've posted.

Cleaning out David's apartment was.......interesting. It's one thing to clean out your father's apartment, but another to clean out a friends. David's sister and her husband were there and were very generous. We got all of his records which are to be ebay'd off and the money donated. P and I got his DVD/VCR player, and also a Star Wars coin that we carry with us at the bar, so he's there with us. Is that really weird? Maybe, but whatever. We also really clicked with his BIL, who works in serious rock merch, and are invited to see U2 next time he's in town (which is next month). How sad is it that we made new friends through his death - or maybe that was the grand plan? I don't know. It's too deep for me this morning.

Blew off some steam and went and saw SCOTS last week. WOW. I know I harp on my love of Mary Huff, but who wouldn't? As usual, she got me onstage to dance, but this time, made me sing too. Erf. Yep, my husband, the brillant photographer. That's my great wonderful friend Chrissy, Miss Huff, and myself. Mary got some better ones, which she said should be published on the website. Haven't seen them yet, but she's a busy girl.

Tried to get my cataract surgery bumped up, but no dice. One more month of being blind. Oh well. Also, our food stamps were cut off, but called and told them my hours are being cut (GAR - that's another story). I'm so frustrated with my job.

Keelhaul is playing this Saturday, so it looks like we'll have houseguests. Time to clean again. The short guy in the pic (second from right) is Will Scharf - one of P's best friends. He was also our host when we went to Cleveland 4 years ago. I'm excited to see him! Not a fan of the music, but love him.

Also have to get information on Brad Warner coming to Minnesota in early August. Chrissy and I will be attending, but not staying at the Zen Center, as, well, we're making a mini vacation out of this. So, a hotel stay and drinks would be involved. I'm nearing the end of his second book Sit Down and Shut Up, which is freaking smart and any good "alt kid's" guide to understanding Buddhisim.

I miss LJ already and need another trip to the museum. Maybe I'll do that this weekend and document it.

Made a super awesome superhero cape for my neice for her 4th birthday. Me not being so super awesome forgot to take a picture of it. Will contact brother and insist. She was a little hyper on sugar to wear it for more than 3 seconds.

Today:
Work (hopefully for more than 4 hours)
Clean coffee table

OH, I did insist on a splurge giftie for me yesterday. I got the new "Stilletto" mascara. Will write review. Whoo - it was on sale (and, Knitty, I needed mascara and was willing to pay full price)!

David's Service

2009-05-24T16:12:00.000-05:00

Was lovely yesterday. His sister Bonnie spoke for a while, then his mom. A co-worker also jumped up and said a few words. It was very informal and I guess as happy as a service can be. There was laughter and more than a few tears. Afterwards, we all went down to Grump's. What really was lovely was how his sister Bonnie touched on the idea of Grumpy's being his other family. We spent some time talking to them and Patrick volunteered us to help finish cleaning out David's apartment tomorrow. I guess David was more of a packrat than I realized. Good way to spend Memorial Day (no, I do mean that sincerely). Our friend Vince, who is on the board of the local Hotdish Revolution Contest held every year, came up with a great idea. David had won the competition 3 times, so he was thinking of having a "Flesland" award. I thought it was a great honor. Patrick promised that he would create the dish that David wanted to make for this year's competition, but couldn't as he was too busy. I'm not spilling the beans on the idea, but it's freaking brilliant. Vince is going to help with the cleaning, then we're going to bbq here. I bought a big hunk o cow today, some beefsteak tomatos, portobello mushrooms to grill and stuff to make a salad with. We have chips and salsa, so good there. Should be fine.

Tuesday I have off also, to go see Souther Culture on the Skids! I'm so excited! Bringing my girlfriend Chrissy to get "Liquored Up and Laquored Down". Really looking forward to seeing Mary Huff again. My rock idol. Smart, Sassy, AND Gorgeous. I made a skirt for the gig out of old SCOTS tank tops, am wearing my high heeled granny boots and a black tank top. May or may not wear wig. We'll see. Will def take picture of my outfit. Then it's back to refi at WF. Gar.

Ghost Bike

2009-05-22T21:27:00.001-05:00

It was bizarre. Just on the way home from work last night, Patrick and I were talking about how amazingly cool it would be if someone parked David's bike outside the bar. Lo and behold, we pulled around the corner and there, as it stood out in the darkness, was a bike painted white. Curiousity made us walk across the street and there it still was. It was real. Not David's bike, but one painted white with a chef's coat attached and a pan hanging from one of the bars. People had written on the chef's coat, their thoughts on David and wishes. An empty bottle of gin rested near the back wheel. I sat down in front of it, trying to collect my thoughts about how to best express myself on the chef's coat. I wrote "David - always a smile and a kind word. This place won't be the same without your face. Love always, The Lenlings". Not my best writing moment, but it was honest and from the heart. P put it better, writing, "Sorry, the kitchen is closed. Chef David has returned home."

I took the camera across the street before work to snap some pictures, but it wasn't the same as seeing it in the glow of the neon. They had also taken the chef's coat and pan (and of course, the empty booze bottles) inside so no local jackass would mess with them overnight. Before bed tonight, I'll steal over and take a proper pic. It's still amazingly hard to admit he's gone. He got P a job cooking at Rick's (fancy pants strip club). He was always there with his face in his laptop, his gin on the rocks and a Skyy cranberry - yes, both at the same time, the man was usually on a mission when he was there, but aren't a lot of chefs? When P and I were stone cold broke, he'd be the first one to offer up one of his home rolled smokes if we wanted one.

As I wrote on facebook, "Dear David - sorry for the faux pas on your name on Friday. DAVID, not Dave. You are so missed right now. I hope you see the tribute/shrine to you outside Grump's. You always had a smile and something sweet to say to me. I remember I smooched you on the mouth about 2 weeks ago and you said I made your day. Wish I had done that more now. I miss you a lot, darling. I'll always hold you in my heart."

Gar

2009-05-21T10:14:00.000-05:00

I had started this wonderful blog about my amazing weekend with LJ, but had to put it on hold, as I got a shit ton of bad news yesterday.

1. I have cataracts and need surgery.
2. My dear friend Jason's father passed away the other day.
3. My friend David passed away also. LJ, you met him across the street Friday night. I introduced him as Dave and he corrected me to David. He was the first person I introduced you to, he was sitting at the bar. I may have a picture somewhere of him... Gar, can't find one.

So, the rest of the week, I'll be laying low. I'll try and post the fun weekend blog soon, but I need a little time out right now.

Out Damn Stress!

2009-05-13T09:00:00.000-05:00

I refuse to get stressed out about how clean the apt is for LJW's visit. It sure as hell will NOT be anywhere near perfect (in any way shape or form). So there. I may just have to hold off on that load of laundry until she gets here on Friday. Pish. What needs to be done is a few days off in a row where I can battle the mess. I was fine over my unemployement days, but everything went to hell in a handbasket when I started working again. I'm still blaming the hours. I don't feel motivated to clean before work, and after work, it's 10 pm and feels stupid to clean at that hour. I'm still adjusting. LJW, I know out of all my friends, I am the least embarassed to have you see this disaster. So there. I'll do what I can and stop freaking out about it.

This morning I DO have to hammer nails into my art for hanging at AAW. I only painted 3 pieces (which I am very proud of) and then have to drop them off at the bar after work. I will do the dishes. There is food. No one will starve over the weekend. The toilet shall be clean and there will be clean towels. If clothes and random crap are everywhere, so be it.

Beginning to feel comfortable at my job. Still having trouble understanding the HARP program (Making Homes Affordable) that the government is doing. It's really detail orientaited and there are a lot of restrictions. Other than that, I now know more than I ever wanted to know about points, buying up and buying down, interest rates, etc. My job makes me want to NEVER buy a house. Even more worries than just payments! Then there's "Holy shit, what if I need a new roof?" or "The hot water heater just blew and we need a zillion dollars to buy a new one!". Not to mention worrying about mowing the lawn. I have enough on my plate, thank you very much.

Good news is they are kind of taking back their forcast for rain on Saturday! Whee! Friday should still be a little yuck, but that's settling in day. Saturday and Sunday are the important ones. I have nothing planned for Sunday for us, so it's pretty open. I'm thinking another trip to the giant SalArm? Should we try and go out dancing on Saturday night? I need to stop making plans and just let the weekend go as it may. Pish again.

Friday!

2009-05-11T08:57:00.000-05:00

All week, it's all going to be about this weekend! LJW is coming to visit for this awesome event, Art A Whirl, and I'm thrilled! Actually, I'm thinking of just meeting her at the airport, showing her a bit of downtown and then coming NE. MUST TAKE PICTURE OF US IN FRONT OF THE Mary Tyler Moore Statue!

Also looking forward to a 4 day work week. Seriously!

To do this week:

Straighten up around here
At least one load of laundry
Add hanger-thingys to paintings for AAW
Not freak out

I think I can accomplish those...

Will I Ever Sleep In Again?

2009-05-10T09:06:00.000-05:00

Gar, woke up at the crack of 8 am today. Was SO looking forward to waking up around, oh, say 10ish. No such luck. Beautiful thing is, since I have the "day off", I have the luxury of taking a nap later. Which I may do after I finish blogging.

Yesterday was great. I accomplished a lot. Mom picked me up at 11:30 and we went to the Farmer's Market. She was in full on FLIRT mode with the men behind the counters - it was super cute. Bumped into a gal from her church who had a booth supporting urban farming - keeping chickens and even a goat in your backyard. I love the idea, but as we have no backyard, I'm keeping that on the back burner. Sampled caramels, MN cheeses and chocolates, looked at super cute baby clothes made from organic cottons (I WANT A SERGER)and listened to great music. After that, I took her out for her Mother's Day brunch at The Modern Cafe. I had an egg and hashbrowns and she had gigantic pancakes. Then, I got to "thrift shop" through a bunch of clothes that she brought for me. Scored some good stuff for work. I have to admit, my mom does have good taste in "grown up type work" clothes.

She dropped me off and I took my Saturday nap. Got up, did all the dishes, finished up my paintings for Art A Whirl, finished up my skirt for the Southern Culture on the Skids concert, and made the grocery list for today.

Today shall consist of hopefully a load of laundry, going to the grocery store, cooking off a chicken, baking cookies (choc choc chip?), and getting clothes for my work week together. Time off my ass. Still struggling with the whole work week/personal life balance since I work 1 pm to 9:30 pm now. It's terribly awkward. I can do Target runs on my way to work (my bus runs right by Target downtown) so I can do kind of little stuff like that. On Saturdays that P has to work, I can do little grocery store runs with my shopping bag (that gets heavy tho - must buy cart still), but I like to save those days for artsy stuff that I can do when he isn't around.

Enough of this for now. I'm off to rip seams out of a pair of jeans and probably take a nap before I wake up P and go to the grocery store...

Oh, and am I and LadyJaneWriter the only people who read my silly blog?

ETA: I am now link unchallenged!

LadyJaneWriter Wrote...

2009-05-06T21:15:00.000-05:00

Also, sweetie? You didn't realize this, but you're doing all your web links wrong. Blogger adds the "http:/" part right away, so all of your links have two "http's"

Since that's technically incorrect HTML, it breaks the link.

...just delete the first "http" that they automatically put in in the little pop-up window, paste in the web link, and then hit save or post or whatever the button is.

She is right. But I'm too lazy to Google it, so look it up. I refuse to go through back blogs and fix them, so if you want to see them, let me know or just Google. I'll do better care in the future. It's not that I don't love you, it's simply that I'm lazy.

Bonus points to LJW for pointing that out though! That means an extra bottle of champagne when you are here!

Half Hour on the Phone With the Landlord

2009-05-05T20:46:00.000-05:00

Taking care of catch up on rent biz for about 5 minutes, then 25 yapping about craigslist and random other stuff. I have NO IDEA how we got so lucky to have such a great guy as a landlord.

This weekend will be busy again, hanging out with the materfamilias for Mother's Day. We're looking to spend this Saturday at the Mill City Farmer's Market! I'm very thrilled. If I'm nice, maybe I can drag her to Salvation Army Target Bargin Basement. Personally, I've been feeling rather evitable in my personal life, so she's rather pissed at me.

Excited very much for the new Harry Potter movie! What still stuns me, is the fact that J.K. Rowling had to write using a pseudandry much as S.E. Hinton did for the book "The Outsiders". Why is it that when women write about strong male characters that they feel the need to write with initals, rather than yelling out "HEY, I'm a girl and I understand boys/men and can write about this!"? My two cents. It makes me feel a little borborygmus. HA - look up THAT word!

Okeay, enough rambling. I need to watch Law and Order now. Get lost and stop bugging me.

Note to Self:

2009-05-05T06:07:00.000-05:00

How do ppl who have normal 9-5 jobs do it? Working in the service industry for 20 years busted my ass on working Monday through Friday and now I try and cram everything I have to do into two lousy days off? Must figure out how to not spread myself thin and whoop my own ass.

Maybe get up later and go to bed later? But doing chores at 10:30 pm seems so wrong! I cannot wield this burden like this! I feel like my own personal misogynist, trying to do the domestic thing AND M-F job. No wonder Dolly Parton snapped in the movie "9-5"...

(playing catch up with word of the day...)

I Rocked the Chicken

2009-05-04T11:11:00.000-05:00

Just had to brag before work. Came out perfect. Should have taken a picture! Also did the laundry, baked a batch of cookies, hard-boiled some eggs and took a teeny nap.

P's giving me a ride to work, so I have an extra 45 minutes to kill. People's Court, here I come!

Not So Much On The Puter Anymore...

2009-05-03T13:37:00.000-05:00

And that's okay, especially with summer coming up! And most importantly, Ladyjanewriter coming up in 2 weeks to visit!

Once again, I've overbooked myself and have to cut a few things out of my weekend. I feel bad about it, but today there is still laundry to be done and a chicken to bake... The chicken will be interesting, as I am not a big chicken cooking person. The extent of my talent there lies in cutting up a breast and stirfry-ing it. I have no choice, as it's been defrosting for 2 days and needs to be done TODAY. P is at work, and told me I'll be fine, so what the hell? I'm also craving chicken salad again, so this is perfect. Need to do the dishes also and finish up paintings for Art a Whirl. I'd like to finish up one more before, but doing the ending stuff on the 3 completed is much more important. It's not a lot of work, it's just the matter of getting my ass in gear to do it. Laundry is really important today too. Really freaking important! 2 loads at least. I'm getting smelly. ;)

The job is still going well. It's a little nerve wracking learning all this stuff, but I think I'm doing fine. At least my supervisors say so to my face... Let's hope they aren't blowing smoke up my, er, in my ear.

Been having really weird dreams lately. I wake up feeling confused and unnerved. I have no idea why this is. Usually my dreams are kind of funny or I don't remember them. Lately they have been powerful, but I can't remember details. I mean, for heaven's sake, if I'm going to have them affect me in a weird way, the least my mind could do is remember them so I can hash them out. How rude.

Dad's deathaversary came and went without any major hitches other than a mild case of the blues. On the "big day", I had saurkraut, pierogies, and kielbasa for dinner, and after work, I had a bump of Jim Beam in honor. The photo you see is from Christmas at his sister's (my late Auntie Joan's) house, obviously sometime in the 80's. I'm guessing I'm thinking maybe 1984? I don't remember my hair being that light in that era, but obviously it was! ETA: Looking at this photo closer, I remembered I colored my hair light around 1987. And that's not dirt over Auntie Joan's walls, the photo got messed up over the years! That's my little bro next to me. May just have to run across the street and have a bump for Dad again when I'm done with this. I need quarters anyhoo for laundry! Eight years later and I swear I talk to him more now than I did when he was alive. That is a serious regret of mine, but I think he knows it and still likes our conversations. One of the best things that I remember was when I was little and he was installing my love of crosswords into me, he'd always tell me that doing the crossword in pencil was "cheating". Because you could go back and change your answer. He told me that if you were going to commit to an answer, you had to do it for real and that there were no takebacks. And using the pencil eraser eventually ruined the newspaper and you dug holes in the puzzle. If you think about it, it is a good analogy for life too.

That's all I have for today. Hopefully, I'll post more this week!

Where to Start?

2009-04-29T16:19:00.001-05:00

It's been, what? Two weeks since I've posted? The benefit for Hank really chewed up a lot more time than I thought it would. Seriously, I was originally thinking a few bands, a few fun people, and a nice time. It became this amazing (and luckily undercontrol) huge monster event! I have no idea exactly what the head count was, but Grumpy's NE was wall to wall and that included the back patio. There was grilling, live music from Baby Grant Johnson, Little Irvy (the hub's band) and Kruddler. A silent auction (yay for LJ for the aprons that sold for $40 each), a raffle for a stunning boot sculpture by local artist Aldo, and people throwing money everywhere!

We raised enough money not only for the downpayment on his new leg, but also enough to pay off the leg that was being replaced. Hank had been paying off the credit card still for the 10 year old yuck leg at a gross interest rate. But that's all over now, he's starting from scratch, free and clear!

That's Hank and me with the boot sculpture. To look at all the amazing photographs that Michal Daniel took of the event, go here!

What else? The job is still going well. P is well. I'm holding tight with everything, except I did bail out of work today due to coming down with a little something. Not sure what, could be sheer exhaustion. When I got home from my 20 minutes at work, I crashed out fully and awoke about 5 hours later. Still a little wonky, but better. So much still going on. Guess I'm having a little bit of "being grown up" blues and kind of wishing to be a kid again for a week. Hopefully, I'll be able to do that sometime soon. As in vacation... Someday.....

T G (tomorrow's) Friday

2009-04-09T19:53:00.000-05:00

TIRED! Today's bus ride home took me over an hour!!! I'm SO GLAD I didn't get sent to the MOA location for every day work. Holy cats! I also overslept today and P had to get up and drive me to work - bless his crabby old heart.

I have never in my life worked for a job where all the details about it are so hermetically sealed within the office. Basically, all I can talk about is that I'm in mortgage refinancing. Helping with the Obama program. Tomorrow is a half day though, (OH, THE JOY) and it's payday. Life does not totally suck. I plan on having a few strong drinks after work tomorrow...

Slacking seriously on zazen. I'm not getting up early enough, and before I crash out, I'm too tired. I'm thinking of really forcing myself this weekend, especially since I start my regular hours of one pm to nine pm on Monday and I've been stressed beyond belief. Monday, they are also throwing us to the sharks, so I really have to have my wits about me all next week so I don't mess anything up. Yikes!

This is dad as a baby with his dad. I love love love the old photos with the fake added color. The other day, my memory of him was when I was in college, he was staying at a flop house. He would buy the old rip out food stamps from the winos and give them to me for food. He probably could have used them (or the money) himself, but my brother and I always came first.

Decluttering has been at a standstill. It's almost something of a Cadmean victory, where in the process of getting rid of so much stuff, I've made a bigger mess. Back to work on it this weekend. P has to work Saturday, so I'll have time by myself to do it. Wish me energy and luck!

5 Swears In This Post

2009-04-07T19:00:00.000-05:00

Exhausted. Feeling a little less ciceronian than usual today, so please bear with me and my aimless ramblings.

For some reason, riding home on the bus yesterday, I was struck by this huge feeling of just simple weepyness. I didn't have this urge to cry or sob, just felt weepy and it was really difficult for me to hold back tears. What makes it even more bizarre, is that there wasn't one single thing that I could put my finger on to make me feel that way. I had had a perfectly fine day at work, nothing was upsetting me, I have not a complaint in the world. Just this overwhelming urge to silently weep on the damn bus. I'm blaming early menopause, for lack of a better reason. I have had times where I just need to sob uncontrollably for about 10 minutes, just to get some random pent up emotion to an event, but I chalk that up to being a girl.

*lightbulb suddenly appears above head*
Well, shit. My dad's deathaversary is coming up in about 2 weeks. I totally forgot that this happens to me around this time every year. Dare you to tell me that my father was NOT a good looking guy (and I swear I'll kick your ass from here to Texas if you do)! He was seriously flawed, but boy, did he love the HELL out of my brother and me. I'll save more Daddy stories when it gets closer to the day. Or maybe everytime I blog I'll post another one... I like that idea!

Enough of the maudlin ramblings.

Completely out of left field, The Biggest Loser tonight is making my stomach roll over...

Work is still good, but am worried about this Thursday and Friday. I have to be at the Mall of America location those days at 8 am. Not a big deal...IF I COULD DRIVE! My eyes are still shot to hell, so I get to take the bus and transfer to the LightRail. Again, not a big deal. BUT, I will probably have to leave around 6 am to get there on time! Yikes! Which means if I want my 1/2 hour "wake up time" (meaning have a cuppa joe, a smoke (yeah yeah yeah), and some breakfast, I have to get up around 4:30 am. Holy cats! So I'm taking it easy tonight and even easier tomorrow night. On a good note, payday is Friday, so maybe I'll treat myself to brunch on Sunday. I like that idea...

Speaking of Thursday and Friday, I'd better get cracking and check the schedules, so I know what the hell I'm doing those days...

It Made Women in Black and White Look HOT

2009-04-04T14:13:00.000-05:00

Riding the bus is interesting. I can totally zap out and dwell on things for 40 minutes and not have to discuss or chat about it with anyone. Here are my thoughts from yesterday morning's bus ride. Please forgive me if I use words that are incorrect for the blasting of thoughts that I was going through.

Money/Privilege/Trends

The cigarette tax went up. Like a dollar a pack. Yes, I know I should quit, etc etc etc (I HAVE gotten much better). But that's not my point. I was thinking about trends and coolness and money. How the Haves influence the Have Nots. How moncy changes everything. In college we talked about Peter Paul Rubens and his portrayal of (in today's standards) "larger" women. The professor touched on the fact that since only the rich could afford to eat well, being "larger" for both men AND women was a sign of wealth. Then there was the trend of pale skin. Peasants working the field were subjected to the sun - the rich could afford to avoid the sun, therefore light skin was something to attain. This went totally the other way in the 1970's/80's. Only the rich could afford to laze around in the sun all day while us drones were stuck in dank cubicles. Then the invention of tanning beds/booths/spray on tans evened the playing field. The wealthy sect of the Chinese could grow long nails, showing their riches because manual labor would break nails. And so on...

Is this moving on to cigarettes in our era? For years, it was only the poor smoked, due to cheap tobacco prices and addiction. They couldn't afford to see doctors to work on quitting. Nicorette and other options to quit are just as expensive as the habit. Now that prices have gone up to (in Minneapolis) around $7 a pack, can only the rich afford to smoke and make it trendy? They can afford the cost of the habit AND afford medical care when it destroys their bodies.

Something else I was thinking about was the social aspect. Smokers congregate. Through my bad bad habit, I have made friends at my new job spending that 10 minutes that it takes to suck down a smoke meeting people I probably wouldn't in my office. You can't smoke in silence, it's a total social meet/greet thing. You share a common habit, and from there friendship grows.

Maybe a 40 minute bus ride is too long for me...

Tuck-Er'd = ME

2009-04-03T19:09:00.000-05:00

Okay, from now on, you shall know the word/s of the day/s as I shall just put them in bold. I may have to do catch up, as I'm not able to blog every day... If you cannot figure out the meaning by the way I use them in a sentence, LOOK THEM UP, you silly lazy people!

Today was my first Friday at work. In the past, Fridays were very much more my Mondays. It's completely awkward for me to have a regular 9-5 type job after all these years. It's still going to be strange when my hours change to 1 - 9:30. What an odd adjustment from my 20 year (mostly) habit of working 4 - barclose. 1 - 9:30 means I can sleep in AND go out (if I so wish). The sad thing is I miss the prime time tv that I so have learned to love. Which is fine, as less tv equals more home type stuff I can do.

When I started here, I honestly thought I was going to be "old lady bartender" on training. What I have learned is that I have many coetaneous co-workers, even though I'm still the rogue bartender. Even better, today's training for what our jobs are going to be on Monday were very pellucid. Because of a few things going on, we are to be message takers and are expected to handle a huge amount of calls. I kind of giggled to myself at that and someone said to me, "Oh, you have NO IDEA of how many calls come in that you are going to have to take"! I laughed outright at that and asked them if they had ever worked a blizzard Friday night or a Monday Night Football night at a pizza delivery place. He answered no, and I just had to cackle. You want diplomacy and patience with upset ppl on the job, honey, I GOT IT DOWN. Esp since I believe that many of the ppl that I will be talking to will not be hammered trying to get me to put pepperoni on two slices of their pizza and get it to them in 10 minutes. This is going to be cake. Watch this statement bite me on the ass.... I'm terribly excited for this new challenge. Bring. It. On. (okay, obviously I'm making a statement there, you don't have to look that up...)

Duties for the weekend:
1. OMG - LAUNDRY
2. Re-vamp clothes for work that need sewing fixes
3. Finalize grocery list - P is going for a major shopping for us on Monday BY HIMSELF, and as much as I love him, for the past 7 years, I've been doing it for both of us and I don't want him to mess this up.
4. Work more on the Hank's bennie. LJ, I got the aprons and they are GREAT! I'm setting starting bids at $20 with $5 increases. I kind of have a hard on for the Heart one...I'm going to have to bid on it myself!!!! Originally I was wanting the "eat me" one, but I need the pocket, and well, to be honest, I think that one is going to bring in a ton of bids!

Today's Verbal Vomit: In the training for what we have to do Monday, one of my co-trainee's asked if anyone was sitting in the open chair next to me. I answered "Only you...Sailor". Luckily, that drew laughs, rather than a reprimand, or (shudder) silence.

Learner's Can Take the Old Heave HO

2009-04-01T18:31:00.000-05:00

Learner's Word of the Day: Prank

When I read today's Word of the Day, I thought it was a prank because it was so lame. Who does these? I'm calling bullshit on Learner's and have dumped it. I now subscribe to A.Word.A.Day which turns out to be much better and doesn't have 5th grade reading level words like prank, for heaven's sake...

On that note, I'm very much challenged by today's word from A.Word.A.Day: Acarpous

When I look upon the snow cleared front lawn every early spring, I'm always astounded as to how acarpous it looks. Wow. A word where I actually had to think about how to put in a sentence! The joy!

Another good day at work, but I underestimated to cold and didn't bring a hat or gloves. FREEZING. Today sat with C, who at first came off a little standoffish, but we warmed up to each other really fast. I really like her. It's crazy how everyone is nice and friendly.

P and I had planned to pull an April Fool's joke on our friend Fred today which included his bicycle and a lot of shrinkwrap, but because I had to work, no one was around to be the distraction. Oh well, next year maybe? I was unscathed by any prank today, short of the damn SNOW. Mother Nature really pulled a fast one today. NOT FUNNY. Other than that, now that I'm working again, I have less and less to report. Kind of sad. But who am I to complain about having a JOB finally???

Oh My God, Verbal Vomit and When Did I Get Old?

2009-03-31T20:41:00.000-05:00

I had my first day at work today. Seems to be easy and pleasant enough. Honestly, I am a bit cranked at myself, as I didn't get up at 5:30 am like I had planned. First day jitters, so I didn't really crash out until nearly midnight. Woke up at 6. Not good, as my bus comes at 7:20 and it usually takes me about 45 minutes to get ready. I KNEW zazen was not in the works, but that 1/2 hour that I can get to just chill with my morning coffee and the news (Boo - no Today Show crew for me), and a bagel really calms my mind. I only had about 10 minutes of that, then had to work with the ducks. What is with my damn ducks never being rowed? Washed up, did my hair (what a waste of time that was - thought I was being clever and all, putting my lovely styled hair up under a hat to protect it from the rain - what a mess), got dressed and ran out the door. Had a few minutes to kill, so called LadyJane and chatted with her until the bus showed up.

Long story short...
Basically spent the entire day eavesdropping on A, who I was assigned to. Super fun cute girl probably in her late 20's. Verbal Vomiting almost occured when one of the supervisors came by and asked if I was Louise. The reply that ALMOST came out of my mouth was "No, but for twenty bucks you can call me Daisy if you want to...". I stopped at BUT. Must remember that I am not working in a BAR.

Also, parking my ass in a chair for 8 hours hurts my poor poor back. When I am able to, I'm going to start sitting cross-legged or lotus, as plain old sitting in those damn chairs hurts!!!

That's about it for now, there is a lot more, but dinner is ready and I'm beat. Law and Order SVU is on in 10 also. Should be crashed out by 10:30 at this rate... 5:30, here I come again!

LJ, may call you while waiting for bus again. I'd call Knitty, but I'm sure at 7 am, she has her hands full with Mag and getting ready for work...

ETA: Todays word of the day was en masse. I believe that my blog readers and myself agree en masse that Learner's Word of the Day is kind of bullshit.

Random

2009-03-30T17:14:00.000-05:00

First off, a big THANK YOU shout out to Miss LadyJane for posting her tutorial on making ruffles! I'm deconstructing a turtleneck sweater to make into a shrug for spring/summer and working in an office setting. I've also been taking pictures of my progress to post online once I'm done, so if anyone is so inclined to make one for themselves, they can.

My pre-job plans have gone slightly awry. I ended up yesterday starting to put all my work clothes together and today is the body spring cleaning. Oh, to have a bottle of wine while I do it... It's the little things like that that you miss when you are broke!

I'm pretty calm about it, all things considered. The worst part is my eyesight - they just aren't getting better. I'm constantly messing with the contrast and brightness buttons on the screen of the puter and still am looking at the world through fog lenses. Trying to describe it is hard. Maybe it's like someone rubbed Vaseline on my eyeballs. Remember the tv show "Moonlighting"? They used some cheesecloth over the camera lense to make Cybil Shepard look younger and give her a glowy effect. I can't find a decent still from the show as an example. They keep telling me different things everytime I see (haha) the doctor. All I know is that it's a pretty helpless feeling.

Okay, the other day I signed up for the Merriam-Webster's Lerner's Word of the Day. Hrm. Not learning so much. Originally, I was thrilled and excited and considered using the word of the day in my blog as a challenge. I'm no rocket scientist by any means, but most 10th graders know the words they have been sending me. So far I've gotten: dicker, levitate, and pudgy. So, now I'm dickering with my pudgy cat (who just happens to be levitating in the corner) over whether I should cancel my Word of the Day membership. I'll give it another few days.

Off to do the dishes and figure out what to do with the chicken breasts I'm defrosting.

Let's Try This Again

2009-03-28T18:19:00.000-05:00

Okay.

Started blathering about what I'm doing to control the pre-work butterflies. Today, I colored my hair (which made it a lot darker than what I wanted, but oh well). Tomorrow is the big scrub/loofah/sort of spring cleaning for the bod day (pedicure included). Monday is gather all acceptable work clothes and get them in one spot to be easily found. Make sure they are all darned, cat fur free, neat and tidy with matching undies/hose available nearby also.

Met up with Hank briefly this afternoon and he gave me leg parts for the auction. Guess I'm going to try and "art them up". We'll see what happens. The one on the left is the upper thigh (which may be used as a "donation cup"), and the one on the right is the calf. No foot, as it got re-used for other legs that he's had. But, it's pretty cool and I'll see what I can do short of doing the much overdone "paint tattoos on the fake leg" crap. Especially since I am NOT a tattoo artist/painter. Maybe could fake it if I wanted, but nah.

Oh, almost totally forgot to pimp out my girlfriend Sarina! If you check out the last issue of Bust here and peek at page 53, you will see a full article on her and her artwork. Okay, she calls it art (and so do I), but my fellow MCAD alum really has a gift for the unusual. You can see her website Custom Creature Taxidermy and just realize how fun and exceptional it is. What I adore best about it, is the way she considers it respect for the dead, which I agree with completely.

By the way, screaming "SHUT THE FUCK UP" while you are in Barnes and Noble when you see a friends name on the cover of a magazine is a really good way to get asked to leave.

I ran really quick after buying it.

Oops

2009-03-28T14:41:00.000-05:00

Aw crap. After typing a ton, I lost everything I wrote. Now I have to rinse this color out of my hair and go meet a friend really quick. I'll finish this up later.

Piss.

Beat It!

2009-03-25T09:01:00.000-05:00

Dead Simple Guide to Beating Procrastination
Post written by Leo Babauta.

I’ve been procrastinating a lot lately. I actually love procrastinating and have nothing against it.

But for those of you who want to beat procrastination, here are 10 simple steps:

1. First make sure you really, really, really want to do it. Seriously - don’t skip this step.
2. Keep things simple - don’t mess with tools, formatting, anything, just start.
3. Make it the first thing you do today, before checking email or anything else.
4. Clear away everything that stands in the way of doing. Including turning off the Internet.
5. Just get started. Overcome the initial barrier by diving in.
6. Tell yourself you’re just going to do 10 minutes.
7. Put something you dread more at the top of your to-do list — you’ll put off doing that by doing the other things on your list. (Structured procrastination.)
8. Find something about it that excites you.
9. Forget about perfection. Just start doing it, and fix it later.
10. If you keep procrastinating, re-evaluate whether you really want to do it. Consider not doing it, or putting it on the backburner.

If all else fails, just take a nap or go outside and enjoy the outdoors or do nothing. Life isn’t all about productivity. Do less.

Me here. If you like this, check out
Zen Habits. Awesome.

DUCKS - GET BACK HERE DUCKS, YOU ARE NOT IN A ROW!

2009-03-24T19:19:00.001-05:00

Holy Cats. My "little ole benefit" for Hank just keeps getting HUGER - and I don't care if that's a word or not, cause that's what's happening.

I was thinking 3 bands, a few silent auction items, maybe get the $800 that he needs. Er. Whoa. (someone has already promised to mail a $500 money order)

Looking at 5 bands now, a kissing booth, grilling out, a huge silent auction AND a raffle for a great piece being made just for the occasion. I have to make signs, make donation containers, make sure there is lipstick for the kissing booth, make sign up sheets for the auction, decide what bands play when... Maybe I should become an official party planner (and of course wedding officiant)! Hank also wants to give me the, er, leftovers, from past legs to paint up and out of the hardware I was thinking of making necklaces. WEAR A PIECE OF HANK. I know I'm going to cry over this. Seriously. The facebook page that I made on Friday is already at 150 ppl. I spend about 2 hours a day answering questions and trying to get everything together. I'm NOT complaining, but just so freaking happy and astounded at the response.

Talked to Hank today, and I while I think he kind of gets the whole idea of it, it hasn't really sunk in that we are going to be able to probably make the whole payment for it. Not the 1/2 downpayment, but all of it.

Whoever said punk rock is dead needs a smack on the side of the head. Off to work on the press relase to send to the newspapers...

Weekend Update w/o Jane Curtain

2009-03-23T17:54:00.001-05:00

I tried really hard to write on Saturday, but no luck. I typed and typed and typed and everything sounded really awful. So, I took the weekend off.

P is on his 8th day in a row of working. Started a week ago today with helping out at the neighborhood bar cleaning for St. Pat's, working Tuesday and Wednesday there also, then training at "real job" on Thursday. He may have Thursday and Friday off this week. He complained a bit at first, but is starting to get over it. It's HARD to have 4 months off then start working so much so fast, right off the bat. It's going to happen to me next week, but I'm excited. I'm starting to realize that I have ONE WEEK to get my shit in order. I have ONE WEEK to finish up my spring cleaning and get my ducks in a row. Good. I work well under pressure.

Saturday was kind of a wash again too. Sunday, I woke up early and got going right away. First thing I did was post a bunch of clothes from my old dom days on craigslist that I had found while cleaning out the closet. I kept a few choice pieces for going out nights, but the rest had to go. Really. It killed me a bit to get rid of them. As a friend mentioned "Ah, Jackie, it's an end of an era". Yeah, it is. But that era ended a while ago when GZ dumped Bondage a Go Go on Thursday nights. And to be honest? Who wants to get smacked by a tired grumpy 40 something year old dom? She Who Shan't Be Named is lovely at it (and not quite as old as I am) and can pull it off. Me? I'm just falling into my lovely life of art and a regular old job. And, I don't look like that anymore. The little lines around my eyes (love them), the little extra chub around the waist (okay, not love, but like), but I still have the legs (hooray). I'm over the hours of makeup and hair. I'd probably break an ankle on those shoes (stone cold sober). Anyhow, only an hour after I posted the ad on CL, I got a response. It was a guy and to be honest, my first thought was Drag Queen. Awesome! I learned my best makeup tricks from them! After setting up a meeting place and time, when I first saw him, I was a little crushed. No WAY was this guy going to fit into my old clothes! He was a bit taller than I am, dressed in all black, eyeliner, the whole works. Maybe around my age. Big smile on his face. I relaxed. We hit it off right away and I took him to my porch were the clothes were. He loved the first half of the box and didn't bother looking at the rest. Just took the kit and caboodle. For asking price! No haggling - which I totally would have done. He was very sweet and kind and told me they were for the girl in the band he was in and their dancers. I didn't really need an explanation - who am I to judge? I'm friends with a guy who likes me to dance on his chest while he's lying on his back. People everywhere have their own things that they are into. As long as it doesn't hurt me or my community or cause harm to others, let be. We both left happy and I think I made a new friend. Which is the best payment ever.

Today, woke up super late. 9:30 am! I felt like such a slug. Started working on dishes and sewing up the patches in P's Chewbacca Blanket (don't ask) that he's had for 34 years. I think this may finally be the week that I get to wash it or at least run it through the dryer with a freshener sheet. Love him, hate his bankie.

Tomorrow is the big day of getting my act together and finishing off the apartment and keeping it clean. Barb, if you are reading this, send good luck vibes! I will not have as much time once I start working full time, and on the benefit, and Art A Whirl!

Oh. My.

The Neverending Weekend of the Unemployed...

2009-03-20T12:33:00.000-05:00

Which is funny, as everyday is Sunday to the unemployed. Sounds fun, and kinda is for the first week, but holy shit. After that, I had to make a daily game plan so I didn't/don't go nuts. New job doesn't start until March 31st, so I still have 11 days to kill somehow. I'm appalled at the amount of people that say to me "Oh, it must be SO NICE to have all that free time!!!" Um, sorry kids, NO. Not really. I'm broke. If I had money, I could do some shopping for art stuff, travel, enjoy the time off (hire a cleaning person!!!). I actually have to find ways to keep myself from going nuts without the luxury of doing whatever I want to, whenever I want to. Making the lists with LJ helps a lot.

Yesterday was kind of a flake out. Only did the grocery stuff. Need to return to the habit of doing dishes every night.

This is Hank, my friend who the benefit is for. We have about 5 bands lined up and a few artists to donate work for the silent auction. I'm really excited for this, as I've known Hank for, oh, 25 years. When you are a dumb punk rock kid, wary of the older ones (okay, I was 16 and he was 20 and old enough to go to the bars and the shows and had his own place and shit), it's nice when one of the "cool guys" kind of takes you under his wing and acts as your big brother. He still is. I love this man.

Other good news is that Brad Warner is coming to Minnesota. Honestly, I'm a little intimidated by the location, The Hokyoji Zen Practice Community about a half hour away from the Iowa border. I think I'm nervous as I've only been practicing Zazen all by myself in my room. Not with a bunch of others. Why couldn't it be in a bookstore??? Sorry, Brad, I know you aren't a fan of bookstore signings, but we're talking about MY comfort zone here. At least I won't be alone, as my girlfriend Chrissy said she'd come with me. Is there such thing as Zazen stage fright? Oh my. I KNOW I'll be okay, and people won't point and laugh at me (and with my luck, I'll probably fart during it), but I'm still a little freaked out to be honest.

List for today:
*Talk to owner of Grumpy's regarding using location for benefit
*The damn dishes
*Craft Room (I can't find my meditation blanket! - Think it's buried under an amp or something equally rock and rollish that I'm afraid of touching)
*If I'm still feeling adventureous, I may start trying to sew up the armbands that I think I may need for new job to cover up arm ink during the summer. I'm not making any promises there.

Blogger's Block?

2009-03-19T11:07:00.000-05:00

Gar. Kind of weirded out today. It's really rather strange having the internet back. Actually, it reminds me of being in my early 20's when I HAD to go out 5-6 nights a week to the local dance club. Because if you didn't go out AT LEAST that often, you may miss something really important. A great after hours party, meeting the perfect guy, the best dance tracks all back to back, whatever. So, I stopped going out so often. Guess what? My quality of life did not crumble into ashes. It's the same with the net. When I was without it, I was certain that I was missing out on something exciting that would make my life great. The only thing I was truly missing was wasting my time in front of the screen. Oh, and looking for jobs, but there are ways around that. I guess it's just a weird thing that I end up focusing my bad habits on.

But, on the other hand, I do have to admit that it's nice to chat with my girlfriends, check email, and read my friend's blogs again. Whenever I want to - unless the hub is asleep on the couch. Hee. Why can't he crawl into bed like a normal person?

Speaking of the hub, right now he is NOT asleep on the couch. He is at his first training day of work. I'm thrilled about this. Not only is he working again, he is out of the house. I love him to death. I really do! But, with both of us being unemployed and broke, we ended up spending way too much time together and just getting in each other's hair and under each other's skin. Honestly, I'm surprised murder didn't occur in the last 3 months. I've never been able to grasp how some couples can not only be married/in a significant living together relationship AND go to work together. I really like my ME time. It isn't always enough to hole up in the craft room. Long walks alone help, but since I hate being cold, they weren't really feasible until recently. Maybe it's selfish, but I'm sure he likes time outs from me too!

Stuff for today:
*Make grocery list
*Hit grocery store (don't know if the food stamps "roll over" into next month and don't want to waste them)
*Attempt to return to work on the craft room aka room o' doom.

Recently found out that my good pal Hank needs a new leg. P and I are organizing a benefit to help raise money for the $750 downpayment he needs to make by the end of next month. There will be music, donations at the door, and a silent auction. If anyone wants to donate a piece of artwork for the cause, please let me know.

Employed

2009-03-17T17:38:00.000-05:00

Both of us.

Seriously. P starts orientation on Thursday, and I start my training on March 31st. Better, the temp agency I went through told me it isn't really "temp". Looks like they liked my resume and training shit enough to hire me as long as they need me.

Big fat whew.

Chrissy and Zen

2009-03-14T09:40:00.000-05:00

During my "time out" on the net, I was at the local pub having my one drink of the week thanks to our good friend Fred. Bumped into Chrissy, the ex of one of my best friends of over 20 years and got into a discussion about religion and zen and blah blah blah. I mentioned Brad Warner's first book, and (is this cool or sad?) quoted some things from it. She was really interested and took down Brad's name to look up next time she was at the bookstore. A week later, I bumped into her again. She had purchased it and was waxing poetic about it and thanking me for turning her onto it. THEN, she reached into her purse and pulled out "Zen Wrapped in Karma and Dipped in Chocolate". Brad's latest book. A gift. For me. I'm a sap, so I cried a bit. Sounds cheesy, but I was so taken aback by a gesture of kindness like that. I'm so used to being the giver, that I really don't know how to handle the "givee" or the person receiving the gift. I find that hard.

Why is that? Why is it so easy for me to give and so hard for me to receive?

On another note, I've been working my ass off to clean up the craft room and make space for zazen. Our place is so cluttered that I can't find a good spot to practice zazen w/o going nuts. Still working hard on decluttering and getting rid of stuff. It's so hard at times...

Don't Know Where To Start!

2009-03-13T21:50:00.000-05:00

Been offline due to internet being a "luxury" for a while. Most frustrating is not being able to blog. I did write in a hard journal, but trying to transcribe everything that has happened in the past 3 weeks is nearly impossible. I'm going to try and start with a fresh state of mind tomorrow.

BIG SIGH regarding being back online!

Up @ 5:30 am

2009-02-24T08:21:00.000-06:00

My usual wake up time is 7:30 am. Today, 5:30, SNAP, BANG, I'm wide awake. Nothing new job-wise is posted on craigslist yet, so here I am, trolling the internet.

Last night I worked on a painting in watercolor for my girlfriend Kathy. I hadn't dealt with watercolors in forever, so it was fun. Going out in the mail today. Of course I was dumb enough to not take a picture. No matter, as the batteries in the camera are dead.

The living room that I so painstakingly decluttered is already becoming cluttered again. Must chat w/P regarding leaving his socks out. Ew.

Seems that S*d (my last job that I was "laid off" from) is now officially shut down. I'm not surprised, but to be honest, saddened. I never felt like I fit in there or welcome at all, but I cared about the place, and in the short 6 months I worked there, made 2 amazing friends. Speaking of jobs - still no bites yet. I'm going insane!!!! I miss getting out of the house and the feeling of purpose. I've always loved working - especially waitressing. The interaction with people, serving food that makes them happy, a little brass in pocket. Just keeping fingers crossed. Going back to a day job of sitting in an office would be nice too - regular schedule, weekends off, prime time tv, and most wonderful - holiday free! After 20 years of working in the industry, I have no problem working holidays, but I do draw the line at St. Patrick's Day and New Year's Eve. "Amatuer Nights" they are called in the biz. It's just awful. If I do ever wait/bartend again, I refuse to work St. Paddy's. I can tolerate (barely) NYE, but St. Paddy's is just silly.

"Put value on yourself" Bill Cosby

Sigh

2009-02-23T17:17:00.000-06:00

Well, after P and I hit the jewelry place to see what we could get, we walked away with almost $200. Not the motherload we were hoping for. My $1,000 wedding ring from my first wedding was priced at $78. I kept it. It's worth more to me in sentimental value (okay, after the divorce, I put black diamonds in it and it's awesome). I would have let it go for $500. Oh well.

Still job hunting to no avail. I've moved beyond scared to terrified. There is the last resort of moving in with P's folks in 'Sconnie, but I really don't want that to happen.

I am still doing the zazen and painting and doing whatever I can to keep my self sane during this rough time. I get up every morning at 7:30 am and work the net job hunting. I chat with my girlfriends for ideas and hope and inspiration. I drink coffee and watch the news (halfway, it's rather depressing), The View, and Ellen (omg, I love her and she always makes me laugh). It's just so hard to keep up the faith. But if I don't, who will?

Keep on keeping on!

Bit of a Throbber Today

2009-02-22T13:00:00.000-06:00

Didn't post yesterday as for some reason I woke up with a Black Cloud. Nothing, NOTHING could get rid of it. Not Zazen, not the 1 1/2 hours cleaning my craft room, not a fine, fine dinner with the hub watching a good movie. So, I did something that was pretty out of the ordinary for me. Being as the hub and I are on a super strict budget lately (rah, unemployment!), I try to not spend any money on stuff that isn't necessary. Yesterday I broke that rule. I bought a small bottle of gin and some tonic water. Guess I was figuring that if that damn Black Cloud was not going away, I'd have a little party with it. Something to the effect of "Hey, Black Cloud! How YOU doin'? Not going away? FINE, let's get it ON!" I didn't get hammered by any means, but got tipsy enough for that damn Cloud to get bigger. This is actually the reason I quit drinking more than a glass of wine or have a few beers during a baseball game in the first place.

Lesson re-learned, and I'm thanking the powers that be for coffee and dark chocolate again. See, what is horrid about it isn't that I woke up with a little bangover - that's no biggie. The most awful part is that I woke up with a super huge craving for a Bloody Mary. Sure, feed that demon again. Then the monster gets bigger. Luckily, the monster is kind of silly looking now and not half as intimidating as it used to be, so I can pick up my baseball bat and smack it back into its corner again. Silly Monster.

Okay. GOOD STUFF.

Brad Warner got a big shout out in Scene Magazine from Cleveland. Must call Scharf and have him mail me a copy.

Barb is having a spring cleaning/decluttering contest!

Today, going to declutter all the damn CDs we don't listen to and taking them to Cheapo for some extra cash.

P talked to the landlord yesterday and our super fantastic landlord is giving him some work. Not a lot, but a little something something to help us along. We really did strike gold when we rented this lovely little spot. Now, if I can make it LOOK as lovely as it is...

Once again, if you read this, you must care at least a little about me. Therefore, please sign up at Do No Harm.

This picture that Janice took of me at Art A Whirl last year always makes me happy. Good start to destroying that Black Cloud today!

Still Exhausted

2009-02-20T17:06:00.000-06:00

Yesterday really did a toll on me, following around Knitty and LJ and trying to keep up with them. Also created a ning site for do no harm (please check it out and sign up) do no harm at ning and also check out their main page do no harm main.

I've also been working on my personal ideal of Do No Harm for fliers to hand out at this year's Art A Whirl.

Taking yet another time out to work on the flier and maybe some sewing and knitting. Who knew trying to spread the word of DNH, Zen, and Zazen could tire one out?

2009-02-19T21:25:00.001-06:00

date!

2009-02-19T21:19:00.001-06:00

After spending nearly a year being horribly and awfully jealous that two of my best friends live 600 miles away from me and get to spend a day together almost every week (without me!), I thought of something... Virtual Date Day!

We texted each other and took pictures of all that we did. I tried my best to take whatever they were doing and incorporate it into my day. I think it came out well.

Let's try this link!

Okay, I swear, between blogger, photobucket and flickr, it took me a half hour to deal with at least linking this. Whew.

Today, I also started working on my personal manifesto for do no harm. I want to hand out as many fliers as I can during Art A Whirl.

More tomorrow, as I'm exhausted.

Disaster Yesterday

2009-02-18T18:55:00.000-06:00

And I won't go into it.

Today...GREAT.

Decided that to make up for such a yuck day yesterday, I had 3 dark chocolate Dove squares for breakfast with my coffee. Pffffffffffffffft! Then later for lunch, I had some cheese, carrots, crackers and more coleslaw. Dinner tonight is leftover potroast (super yum)!

Today's big freaking deal!

Before:

After:

Got rid of that damn shelving unit that stored dust and sewed up a curtain for the DVD shelving unit. MUCH BETTER.

More tomorrow!

Is Having Coleslaw for Breakfast Wrong?

2009-02-17T12:11:00.001-06:00

We were out of milk for cereal, and I wasn't about to cook up an egg (or anything else). I poked my head in the fridge and saw the slaw I had made the other day. Since it is vinegar based (as compared to mayo), I looked at it as my first serving of veggies for the day and rather healthy. Either way, it's much better than skipping breakfast altogether!

The past 2 days have been about purging and decluttering. I decided that those two steps were the best start for me to keeping a clean house. My biggest concern is keeping my hub, P on board. He calls ME a packrat (which I am/was), but I'm chucking things left and right, and when I ask him about something of his that hasn't been touched in years, it can't go. Gar. Don't get me started on his huge Rubbermaid box of rock t-shirts that are second only to the Holy Grail. I've asked him several times if I can take them and make a quilt out of them for him, to no avail. So, these paperthin, unwearable t-shirts sit in a huge box. All I can do is breathe. The coffee table is nearly cleaned of clutter. I went through some books and earned $11.00 from taking them to Half Price Books. I decluttered the shelving unit by the door and the crap basket that's on top of it. That shelving unit will prolly go curbside next week, as it's very old, kinda falling apart, and really scrappy looking. Today, I'm trying to make a curtian for the 6 foot tall unit that holds all of our DVDs. At least it would hide the DVDs and make for a neater looking room. I cleaned out my horrid horrid desk drawer. Today I tackle the top of the desk.

List of things today:
*Dishes - via flylady, tonight and every night
*Swish and Swipe - via flylady, every morning
*Make curtain
*Clean top of desk
*Resumes out
*If I still have the energy, tackle the corner by the desk (another nightmare) - Yep, that's the super scary BEFORE picture!

*Knit during prime time or work on ATCs that have to go out tomorrow
*Throw Potroast together for dinner into crockpot

Yikes - go me!

Adventure Abounds

2009-02-15T10:04:00.000-06:00

Friday, I didn't get much done - sat with a friend for a while and chatted, P made dinner for all of us and I crashed early (as usual lately). Saturday, well, that wass another story.

My girlfriend Cheryl and her boyfriend picked me up at 8:30 am. She had called me on Friday night, reminding me that I was to be her date for Valentine's Day and attend the KnitOut at the Mall of America. After riding the light rail down to the Mall, we sat and had coffee and scones and planned our day. Cheryl's boyfriend left to go prepare a special dinner for her later, and we were off. I knew I was looking for Kneesocky from Glitter, and only had a vague idea of what she looked like. Unfortunately, most of the KnitOut was spent standing in line. The most disappointing was about a 45 minute wait in the Lion Brand line, only to discover the only thing they were handing out were the super sized tote bags that they gave you WHILE standing in line! Clover was giving away knit lites! Size 15 and this crazy lime green color. I have the 10 1/2s in pink and while I adore them, they are a bit slickery. Who am I to say no to free needles though? The coup though was the Patons line. An hour wait. Cheryl and I spent our time chatting with a couple of women ahead of us and a really nice guy, "Eddie, the Juggling Magician", who held his wife's place while she ran around a bit. Now THAT is a Valentine's Day gift of true love. This is also where I finally found Kneesocky. Patons was our last attempt of the day, due to exhaustion and the subtle torture of the line mostly being in front of The Rainforest Cafe. Between the recorded monkey screeches, the peppy music, and the walking frog mascot (which I found terrifying and did NOT want him out of my sight), I really thought I was going to lose it. Being hot and sweaty, I had taken off my jacket and hoodie and pushed up my sleeves, revealing my Jack Skellington knitting tattoo. The first gal behind the counter noticed it and said "OH! I have a skully knitting tattoo too!" and showed us the one on her upper back. I recognized it from the message board we had met on and squealed - I had found Kneesocky! Jumping up and down and hugging proceeded. She promised to meet me later in downtown Mpls. We grabbed the best schwagbag ever (3 skeins of yarn, books and books of patterns and a crochet hook) and Cheryl and I were off. Parked our asses at one of the restaurants and had a few drinks with lunch.

I returned home, and after a little rest, P and I went to pick up Ms. Kneesocky at the light rail station. Originally, it was going to be just myself, but P offered as my V-Day gift, to chauffer us around (as I am unable still to drive). We got shots of First Ave (Mr. Kneesocky is a huge Replacements fan), and then took her to The C.C. Club where The 'Mats filmed their video Achin To Be. Off to Grumpy's Downtown for another round, then back to the light rail stop. I know that meeting people you know only from posts online IRL can often be awkward, but this was not one of those times. Kneesocky is a wonderful, charming and fun girl. I was sad to say goodbye to her and truly wish that we lived much closer to each other. She's one of those girls that can easily become a close friend in no time.

Today's list:
*Living room. NO EXCUSES.
*Painting
*Go pick up P's receiver from old job w/o any drama
*Knitting during prime time

Mindfulness, Quitting Smoking, and the Story of John

2009-02-12T10:59:00.000-06:00

I'm embarking on probably attempt #9 in my lifetime to quit smoking. What has been helping are the mindfulness exercises that I am still working on. I don't smoke randomly anymore. I used to light up just out of habit - the worst was sitting here at the puter and chain smoking. An hour and a half of blogging, chatting, sending out resumes later, I had gone through half a pack without even knowing it. Gross. Seriously. Worse, the times that I would light up, then say, have to feed the cats, get a cup of coffee, whatever, set the smoke down and come back and it was all ash. WOW. Both are a serious waste of money and what's the point of doing ANYTHING (esp something that costs money) if you don't enjoy it? Now, I don't light up unless I can sit there and concentrate on what I'm doing. This cuts my smoking down in half, and most of the time, I don't even finish the damn thing. Smoking is actually boring if that's all you are doing and concentrating on. This is working much better for me than the patch ever did.

The Story of John:
I was on the bus on my way home from my interview on Monday, feeling a little down/frustrated about the entire job situation and trying to read "Dharma Punx" by Noah Levine. At one of the stops, a pair of blind men boarded. You could feel the sudden uneasy shift of energy on the bus as the men searched for seating. I got a little fed up and when the second man was within a foot of me, I said that I had an empty seat. He smiled and sat down next to me. I was starting to go back to my book when he stuck out his hand and introduced himself as John. I shook and told him my name. Slowy, a conversation began. He asked a lot of questions of me (just basic, "are you from here", "what do you do", "kids" type questions. I answered and asked some in return and this is what I got...

John was born and raised in Dallas, TX. After high school, he joined the armed forces and was sent to a post outside of Denver. This is where he lost his eyesight, 3 years ago. He did not volunteer up information how, and I didn't feel the need to ask. I automatically said "I'm sorry" when he told me about when he lost his eyesight. John paused, and said, "It is what it is. I just have to work around it." This coming out of a 26 year old man's mouth. There I was, having a small pity party about my life, and this wonderful young man sits next to me and offers up these lovely words of wisdom. And the timing could not have been more perfect, due to my eye infection and my encompassing fear of losing my eyesight. After losing his eyesight, he was sent here to The Minnesota School of the Blind and has been here ever since. I touched his arm and said, "All of us are handicapped in one way or another. Most of us just have the luxury of hiding it." John was quiet for a moment and then agreed with me. The next stop was his, he shook my hand and we both agreed that it would be nice to bump into each other on the bus again. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face for several hours after.

Duties today:
*Send out 5 more resumes (3 already done)
*Make chili and put in crock pot
*Work on sister painting to first completed one
*Make a few phone calls regarding references on my resume
*Clean up living room

That's it. I don't want to push myself too hard. I have an interview at a Temp Agency tomorrow. I hope I bump into John.

Blog Challenge

2009-02-10T12:21:00.000-06:00

I forgot to mention that yesterday, LJ and I created a blog challenge between us. It was originally her idea to post a list of things to do in our day and do them. We started out good, but both slacked. Now, we HAVE to. Things for today:

*Finish cleaning other half of kitchen (did 1st half yesterday and that wasn't even on my list!)
*Meditate (after I blog)
*Clean my self up (this does NOT count as shoving dirty hair under hat and going out in a hoodie and jeans), and meet a friend for a drink (she's buying!)
*Throw down coat of paint that I didn't do yesterday (but I cleaned 1/2 kitchen, so that's counts as a cancel out)
*Send out at least 3 more resumes
*Knit during prime time to finish sister in law's very tardy Xmas gift

This morning, two interesting things happened to me. On TBS, the movie "American Beauty" was on. I had never seen it. Watching the characters change, grow, and become aware of their own realities rather struck a chord in me. Especially Kevin Spacey's character. I also finished the book "Hardcore Zen, Punk Rock, Monster Movies and the Truth About Reality" by Brad Warner. This, in the acknowledgments (yes, I read that part of the book), smacked me right between the eyes...

"Don't ever be disappointed with what happens in life because sometimes you don't know when someone is doing you a tremendous favor. Seriously."

Also the following quotes from the chapter "The Great Heart of Wisdom Sutra", which sounds all deep and meaningful, but you have to understand, this chapter begins with a quote from Bart Simpson. Yes, that cartoon kid on tv, where he talks to Milhouse about how there is no thing as a soul. But I'm leaving that quote out. I'm sure everyone out there is fully familiar with that episode.

"Compassion is the ability to see what needs doing right now and the willingness to do it right now. Sometimes compassion may even mean doing nothing at all...stupid helpfulness is not compassion either."

"...I'll sit there and wonder, 'Will I regret it later if I don't buy this now?' Of course, you can't answer that question. People stress themselves out all the time over variations of the same question...don't get too hung up on the future. The future is out of your control. Enjoy what's happening right now. Do what is appropriate, what is right, in the present moment and let the future be the future."

I could go on, but then you wouldn't buy the damn book. And I think you should at least check it out from the library.

In the past few days, I have also started (very shakily) attempting mindfulness. Rather than my old routime of waking up, stumbling to the kitchen to put on the coffee, turning on the news and sitting in a fog staring that the super wonderfully cute Matt Lauer, I've taken a different path. I wake up. I stretch out the creaks. I sit lotus and try and remember my dreams for a few minutes (I don't really recall my dreams, but if I can't, I focus on my day). I go to the kitchen and wait for the really cold water to come out of the tap. I smell the coffee when I open the bag. I more carefully judge how much coffee to put in the filter. While I wait for it to brew, then I turn on Mr. Matt Lauer and actually listen to what he is saying about world events and whatever propaganda is du jour, rather than gazing emptily at the tube. When the coffee is ready, I take the time to smell it and give a little thanks for this amazing thing that is called COFFEE. I've always loved coffee, but now I appreciate it. All of that only takes me an extra 5-10 minutes (depending on how long I reflect), and the difference in my day has been amazing. And rather than sitting on the couch with Mr. Lauer and having my breakfast with him, I turned off the tv and sat at the kitchen table and ate carefully. I remembered what food tastes like, rather than something to fill my belly and give me energy. Once again, it's the difference between "liking" something to growing to "appreciate" it and what role it plays.

Yesterday, on my way home from my job interview on the bus, I met the most amazing man named John. I shall tell this tale tomorrow, as this blog is now very long. "It is what it is".

God, this sounded all very woo.

5 Days Is Too Long

2009-02-09T17:27:00.001-06:00

Between postings. Another thing to add to my list. I've learned that keeping myself as busy as possible during this unemployement bull is a great motivater. Today slacked a bit...

Did the stretching
Went on job interview
Sent out 3 more resumes
Talked to mom (trust me, this can be hard sometimes)
Will knit during "Heros"
Will do dishes
Will have monster salad for dinner with some fish on the side (eating well helps too!)
Will throw down a coat of paint on piece of work for spring's Art A Whirl (coming up SOON - May)

New goal - to spend less time on puter (except for chatting - limited to one hour a day at most - and sending out resumes).

Must. Stay. Motivated!

Yikes

2009-02-04T08:46:00.000-06:00

Okay, doctor day today (thanks Melissa for the sweet comment - I didn't know anyone actually read my blog)! Will be keeping updates on what the hell is going on with my eyeballs!

Okay, goals for today (DAILY WILL DOS):

#1 Doctor
#2 Get Shepard Fairy and Coop signed silkscreens appraised
#3 Work on first painting for upcoming art show (first solid base coat on and sketched out already - time to color!), and ATCs

Daily duties (DAILY HAVE TO DOS):

#1 Dishes (moved this to everyday)
#2 Work on aprons
#3 Little yoga
#4 Art journal

Nothing too overwhelming. I can do this! Maybe by this time next week I can add one more thing to the WILL DO list!

Not The BEST Day...

2009-02-03T18:06:00.000-06:00

So, I had total plans today to hit the road and go fill out a job application today for something that seemed fun. I got fussed up and poked my head outside to check the weather. I was nearly blinded, and not in a "golly, it's really sunny out today" sort of way. I mean it was BRIGHT and it hurt and things were fuzzy. This has been coming on gradually for a month, and I had no idea it was this bad. I have to turn down the brightness on the puter to read it, and dim lighting is best for me now. If I drive at night, I see halos around street lights and car headlights. So, I called my clinic.

Talked to a nurse for a while, and she told me they didn't really have the equipment to do a real checkup on my eyes. Basically, she told me to hit Urgent Care as soon as I can tomorrow (and since the hub and I are unemployed, talk to a Social Services Worker re: payment). This, my friends is really scary. I'd rather be deaf than blind (not to belittle either, but my painting and sewing are everything to me).

So, guess what I'm doing tomorrow?

Well, at least I can still paint and sew for now... Let's hope its something dumb that eyedrops can fix, and not something scary like, oh, cataracts or anything!

Good Day!

2009-02-02T19:17:00.000-06:00

Okay, I didn't have time before I left home today, but these were my goals:

#1 Food Shelf Volunteer
#2 Clean off kitchen table
#3 Finish Dishes

I did all three!

My daily goals still are:

#1 Work on aprons (done!)
#2 Stretch (okay, a little after getting up - must do more)
#3 Sketch in art journal (I started working on my spring series for Art A Whirl, off of sketches, so that kind of counts)

Go me!

Ha - So Much For Goals

2009-02-01T14:31:00.000-06:00

Well, it started out as a good idea, but I decided to take the weekend off. So, goals for today:
#1 Wash Dishes
#2 Watch Obama/Lauer interview
#3 Watch Cold Case
#4 Eat a lot of popcorn

Blowing off stretching, yoga, sewing (maybe), in lieu of nap.

Tomorrow, I get back to work. Even the unemployed need a day or two off. I send out 5+ resumes every day, work on the aprons/etsy shop every day, and clean. Today, therefore, I shall slack.

BTW: knittywampus

3 Things

2009-01-30T10:24:00.000-06:00

Ladyjanewriter came up with this brilliant idea, but since I'm an oaf and a lazy ass, I shall downsize it.

3 Things That Need To Get Done Today:

You list 3 things that you should do, but don't really want to do and just freaking do them. Watching "The Martha Stewart Show" does NOT count. And, we're off:

1. Clean off the damn coffee table
2. Clean art supplies off kitchen table and put where they belong, not in a rubbish pile in the craft room.
3. Get thee to Ruby Tuesday's to apply for server job. I know it's not the dream job, but it will bring money in.

Okay, I'm actually going to go LJW one further. I'm making a list of 3 things I need to do EVERYDAY. I'm freaking unemployed, so I have no excuse of being "too busy watching Martha or Tyra".

1. Work on aprons
2. Paint/work on art journal
3. Meditate and a few yoga stretches.

Okay, right now I'm chatting with friends online and doing this blog, but I'm setting a time limit. At noon, I shall eat lunch, clean coffee table, do art journal, shower, hit Ruby's, and then work on aprons. I'm going to try my damndist to do it all, but we'll see...

New Year, New Hopes

2009-01-18T15:10:00.001-06:00

Well, at the end of last year, I started busting out painting a bit more, thanks to Ms. Suziblu, the goddess. Please check out her site, if you haven't already. Oh, and send fur baby love for the late, great Mr. Pooh Kitty. My big thing now is working on the aprons for my etsy shop and hauling them around (via tupperware lady) town to pimp out. I've already sold about 10, but need to sell more!

Christmas was lovely in Milwaukee. My superfantastic in-laws got me a new Janome sewing machine and I was in shock. I couldn't stop hugging it. I still can't, but now that it's up and running and out of the box, it's a little more dangerous to do so. NYE sucked. I'm not going into it. Actually, Jan has pretty much sucked so far, but I'm trying to keep happy thoughts going and TCB.

So, I'm going to do a few more things on the net, and get back to ironing and sewing. I'd chew off my arm for a real ironing board (bending over a short dresser with a towel on it makes my back say OWIE), but a girl has to make due. I also want to paint something in my journal, but the aprons come first. Ka-ching!

Lazy Blogger!

2008-12-20T10:57:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it's been over a month since I've posted. I don't even know if anyone reads this or cares, but it's usually good for me.

Work has been slow, and I've been busy searching for a second job. And trying to start my etsy shop. I'm dorking around on the puter while I should be cutting, ironing and sewing. Don't get me started on how much I miss painting, but I need to find a freaking saw to cut down my 2x4s. How hard is it to find a friend with a SAW? Even the hub doesn't have one! Oh, and if anyone is so inclined, I'll buy you dinner if you clean out my car!

Someone told me last week that I don't always have to be "the hero". And that was also told to me by another friend a few days later. It makes me think a lot. But in my life, I always feel like I'm the one that has to "take care of business" (thank you, thank you very much, Mr. Elvis Presley). If I don't do it, no one will. Xmas presents, cards, running errands, feeding the cats, working, finding a second job, helping a friend shop for Xmas, taking care of Momster, trying to start my etsy shop. OMG - I am doing too much. Still have to WRAP Xmas gifts by Monday. My best friends aren't getting their gifties until after the holidays. I just don't have time to finish them up. What have I done to myself?

Burps!

2008-11-15T14:47:00.000-06:00

I've had a bad case of the burps for a few days now! I'm guessing it's a little bit of work stress and a lot to do with my first craft show in years. I've been busting my ass making aprons and so very excited (and terrified) for this show. I love them, and wear mine to work all the time. I'm also hoping to bust out "tails" for the aprons. Little washcloth sized squares with a ribbon hook that you can loop onto the apron string and have at your side or backside to wipe your wet fingers on. Luckily, I'm going to spend Monday night at Momsters and she said she would help me out!!!

Next step...etsy. OH - and my girlfriend in Chicago said she'd take my business cards down to her favorite watering holes to pimp my goods! I really think I'm onto something here... Wish me luck!

Rawr!!!

2008-11-10T13:40:00.000-06:00

Courage

2008-11-10T08:57:00.000-06:00

Watched Suziblu today and got inspired to work on a painting (which is a nice change from all the sewing I've been doing). Problem is, is that it's about 30 degrees here, which makes for chilly outside spraypainting. Also takes longer for the stuff to dry. I'd die without gloss finish, though, so it's worth it. Suzi's project for this week was saying "YES" to something in your life. I've decided to say "YES" to courage. I found a photo of a lion on the internet, sketched it out in Sharpies on canvas, added some oil pastels (and melted them down with the iron). Threw on a coat of Clear Crystal, and am now waiting for it to dry. Adding in the word "courage" to it, a little sparkle/glitter, then another coat of Clear Crystal. I haven't drawn in ages, so it feels pretty good to think that I still can. Hence the title/theme of courage. I'm kind of like the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz. A pussycat that needs to find her ROAR. I know I have it in me, I just need to let it out.

Tired

2008-11-07T10:24:00.001-06:00

So much going on. This is one of those days where I feel like I can't do enough for myself and everyone in my life. Went to the Sewing Expo at the Convention Center yesterday with my mom and had a great day with her. I think I'm just kind of over Christmas already. Presents and silly stuff that people don't need. Thanksgiving is overrated. Can we just go out to eat? Erf. Sorry about the bitter post.

VOTE

2008-11-04T07:53:00.001-06:00

Going to vote in a few minutes. Can't wait. Hopefully, the line won't be too long. Working on aprons for the Craft Bizarre/Fair that starts Thanksgiving weekend, and mom is coming over for Thanksgiving too. Egads. How am I going to manage all of this?

jackierocketarts

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It Made Women in Black and White Look HOT

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Oh My God, Verbal Vomit and When Did I Get Old?

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DUCKS - GET BACK HERE DUCKS, YOU ARE NOT IN A ROW!

Weekend Update w/o Jane Curtain

The Neverending Weekend of the Unemployed...

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Employed

Chrissy and Zen

Don't Know Where To Start!

Up @ 5:30 am

Sigh

Bit of a Throbber Today

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date!

Disaster Yesterday

sigh