I'm embarking on probably attempt #9 in my lifetime to quit smoking. What has been helping are the mindfulness exercises that I am still working on. I don't smoke randomly anymore. I used to light up just out of habit - the worst was sitting here at the puter and chain smoking. An hour and a half of blogging, chatting, sending out resumes later, I had gone through half a pack without even knowing it. Gross. Seriously. Worse, the times that I would light up, then say, have to feed the cats, get a cup of coffee, whatever, set the smoke down and come back and it was all ash. WOW. Both are a serious waste of money and what's the point of doing ANYTHING (esp something that costs money) if you don't enjoy it? Now, I don't light up unless I can sit there and concentrate on what I'm doing. This cuts my smoking down in half, and most of the time, I don't even finish the damn thing. Smoking is actually boring if that's all you are doing and concentrating on. This is working much better for me than the patch ever did.
The Story of John:
I was on the bus on my way home from my interview on Monday, feeling a little down/frustrated about the entire job situation and trying to read "Dharma Punx" by Noah Levine. At one of the stops, a pair of blind men boarded. You could feel the sudden uneasy shift of energy on the bus as the men searched for seating. I got a little fed up and when the second man was within a foot of me, I said that I had an empty seat. He smiled and sat down next to me. I was starting to go back to my book when he stuck out his hand and introduced himself as John. I shook and told him my name. Slowy, a conversation began. He asked a lot of questions of me (just basic, "are you from here", "what do you do", "kids" type questions. I answered and asked some in return and this is what I got...
John was born and raised in Dallas, TX. After high school, he joined the armed forces and was sent to a post outside of Denver. This is where he lost his eyesight, 3 years ago. He did not volunteer up information how, and I didn't feel the need to ask. I automatically said "I'm sorry" when he told me about when he lost his eyesight. John paused, and said, "It is what it is. I just have to work around it." This coming out of a 26 year old man's mouth. There I was, having a small pity party about my life, and this wonderful young man sits next to me and offers up these lovely words of wisdom. And the timing could not have been more perfect, due to my eye infection and my encompassing fear of losing my eyesight. After losing his eyesight, he was sent here to The Minnesota School of the Blind and has been here ever since. I touched his arm and said, "All of us are handicapped in one way or another. Most of us just have the luxury of hiding it." John was quiet for a moment and then agreed with me. The next stop was his, he shook my hand and we both agreed that it would be nice to bump into each other on the bus again. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face for several hours after.
Duties today:
*Send out 5 more resumes (3 already done)
*Make chili and put in crock pot
*Work on sister painting to first completed one
*Make a few phone calls regarding references on my resume
*Clean up living room
That's it. I don't want to push myself too hard. I have an interview at a Temp Agency tomorrow. I hope I bump into John.
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