I Know This Much Is True...

This is pretty much how my friends have made me feel the past few days. That song is dedicated to everyone helping me. Really.

Honestly, I was in a really dark spot when I left Glitter. P had lost his job, I lost mine, and I can't see for shit. But with EyeballPalooza, Faith has been restored to me. I also (a sign maybe?) got the charms from the Woo Woo Swap, and I'm going to do my best to make them into a prayer/meditation charm link before my surgery to take with me.

Things had taken such a bad dump all this year since I got laid off/canned/the place locked their doors in early January. We were both unemployed until March. Things seemed to be looking up. Catching up on bills, etc. Actually one of my friends who I was talking to yesterday told me "it takes a month to fall behind and a year to catch up from that one month". No Kidding.

I just have to bend and accept all the kindness I've been given lately. It's hard for me, as LJW has always (and Knitty too) told me that I'm too much of a giver. But I was raised to be a caregiver. My dad and my brother. My mom taught me to be strong and not to rely on others. If it's this hard for me, what was it like for her?

Happy Father's Day, Daddy

Your favorite song. I miss you.

Another Day In The Life

Of the Unemployed.

Watched Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion today and thought to myself, well FUCK. While I don't have a cute guy who is rotten rich like Alan Cumming (no jokes from the peanut gallery on his name), I can do this wait apron shit.

It's just going to take time and love from the hub. Also started working on the major painting that I promised my friends K and J for their new restaurant.

I'd type more, but my eyes are going weird with the puter glow. I need this surgery so bad.

Oh, For Heaven's Sake...

Got laid off yesterday. Spent the day on the couch watching my court shows and napping. That's how I deal with stress, so whatever.

Have already applied for unemployment, sent out 5 resumes, touched base with old contacts and drank my coffee. Supposed to go to a friend's open house today, but P's still crashed out, so I don't think that that's going to happen.

The stress of all of this is taking it's toll. I'm going to really buckle down and work on the damn wait aprons again and really start pushing them. Seems like my only option right now. We're behind on everything and lord knows, as much as I love my in-laws, moving in with them would just be bilious.

This would all be easier if I could just get my eye surgery over and done with. I can't drive, so I'm at the mercy of our bus system, which doesn't totally suck, but could be better. I have to figure out a way to keep my insurance with the temp agency. I told them throw me ANYTHING ASAP. So what if I'm making $12 an hour? It's better than nothing! Did apply at Barnes and Nobel, they need a store manager, which would ROCK. I'd be in heaven. Also applied at Origins at MOA - location sucky, but the job would be fun. Have a friend who works there, so that may be an "in". Contacted my old mentor at CK and asked her to keep her ears open and that I was willing to relocate to Milwaukee. Sent off an email to a gal I met at the benefit for Hank who works in PR too. Need just now to keep sewing and working on a huge painting for a friend's restaurant that's opening next month. I think I can afford primer for the wood.

I'm trying to get over this melancholic mood I'm in. It's difficult. I miss being the old sanguine gal that I usually am. Can you tell that I'm so trying to catch up with Word of the Day? I'm tired of feeling phlegmatic. Time to get with the program again. Ducks, watch out!

Life as it were....

Still slapping on that happy face.

Lee Rocker will be here on the 27th. This is good. I love this man. I can't wait to see him! Everyone had a fave Stray Cat, but mine was always Lee, not the obvious Brian Setzer.

Lee has told me that Bulletproof was inspired by my chest ink, but I think he's just being nice.

P got laid off on Friday. That's all I have to say about that.

I didn't go to the Keelhaul show, as I was tuckered. A quiet night in watching
Dexter was more up my alley. LMAO right now, as when I posted the link, I started hearing the theme song. Thought it was in my head, but the site plays it. I'm going insane, I tell you...

I was thinking about how WF pushes volunteering. Then I got into a big deep thought about the difference between volunteering in your neighborhood vs. a BIG CAUSE. I've done both. I'm on the side of hood, because I can witness the difference it makes, and who knows what the ppl behind THE BIG CAUSE are doing with the money. I've spent $150 on a seat at a benefit with all the bells and whistles, rubber chicken, big showboating. Where did the $150 go? I spent more than a few hours working my ass off for Hank's new leg and knew exactly where the money went. That felt better. And I didn't have to eat rubber chicken. I got a damn good burger. Therefore, I hearby declare my love for personal involvement. Don't ask me for cash because you are "walking" for something. Let me get my hands dirty and actually DO something. I'd much rather do that.

Maybe it's the Obama book that LJ gave me that's making me have all these thoughts. I'm taking my time with it, rather than speeding through, as it's great.

Went to Crafty Planet yesterday for fabric samples. The ones they don't choose (or whatever), I'll ship off to AJ for quilting scraps. Or maybe I'll keep them for whatever. I'm very excited to make aprons for my friends restaurant, and maybe that'll be good promotion. Who knows. I'm just trying to take everything one day at a time now. And the super awesome superhero custom capes for kids. I'm still mad at myself for not getting photos. I'll make a few more for friends and send them out AND TAKE PHOTOS. Really, girl, screw your head on right. Let's see, Frankie needs one, Maggiepants does, and maybe my girl Dez's kids need some. The design possiblites are endless.

5 Good Things

Oh well for the love of fuck and all that's holy. One step forward, two steps back. NOT FAIR.

Working on Good Things still then!

1. Got to see one of my best girls, Kari, yesterday. Not enough time spent with her, but did get to see an old friend Tony also. KarKar lives in AZ now, and it's painful to be away from her. WHY DO ALL MY BEST GIRLS LIVE SO FAR AWAY?

2. Picked up fabric samples today from crafty planet for the aprons I've been asked to make. Some Sailor Jerry style, some with purple background and octupi and seahorses on them. CUTE. Also saw my friend Kristin there.

3. Keelhaul tonight. They aren't staying with us, so I don't have to powerclean.

4. Taking a nap today. I love naps.

5. Probably going to work on another superhero cape for my little pal Frankie. He needs one. No tulle though.

I'm wiped still from getting up at 4:45 yesterday. Nap it is!

More Good Things

I'm still trying to pull positive sunshine out of my ass. How's that for a visual?

1. Stopped in at Grumpy's Downtown after work on Tuesday. Was asked for business cards regarding aprons. I shut down my etsy store, so now what? The cards do have my email addy on them though. I'm down to two anyhoo, so time to get cracking!

2. 101 Dalmations (live, not animated) is on tbs right now. Renforces my undying love for Hugh Laurie. And John Hughes. Did I mention the costume love I have for Glenn Close's Cruella? NOM.

3. It's Thursday.

4. New job assignment. Not sure where this lands, but I'll be working 7-4 now and fielding calls for processing. Means I have to get up around 4:45 to have morning coffee and start getting ready for bus.

5. The above means PRIME TIME TV. Law and Order SVU, here I come!

Good Things

I'm only typing good stuff today, as I'm tired of being dreary. The rain hasn't been helping my blue mood, but I'm gonna make my own sunshine, dammit!

1. The Stiletto mascara is GREAT. I usually wear Great Lash (waterproof, as my eyes water a lot and now that I'm older, I cake on the undereye moisturizer), but still got the little racoon smudgies. This (and not being waterproof) did no such thing and made my lashes huge(er). I usually call bullshit on this sort of hype, but I love this stuff. On sale at Target right now, BTW.

2. My girlfriend Kari is in town and we're set up for brunch on Sunday at The Tasting Room. I'm very excited to see her pretty face and catch up. Why do all my girlfriends live so far awaaaaaaaaaay? Wait, that's not a good thing, so onward.

3. I've been asked to custom make wait aprons for a new restaurant opening next month. Must get ass to Crafty Planet to get fabric samples.

4. I got a giftie in the mail from LJ yesterday! You're going to have to pry the Simplicity Sewing Simply book out of my cold dead hands. I read it on the bus!

5. My girlfriend Larisa's mom is coming to town in a week. I love this woman and am looking forward to seeing her again! She's more like a girlfriend than a girlfriend's mom.

Five is a good number right off the top of my head, so I'll stop now.

Updates

Wow, it's been two weeks since I've posted.

Cleaning out David's apartment was.......interesting. It's one thing to clean out your father's apartment, but another to clean out a friends. David's sister and her husband were there and were very generous. We got all of his records which are to be ebay'd off and the money donated. P and I got his DVD/VCR player, and also a Star Wars coin that we carry with us at the bar, so he's there with us. Is that really weird? Maybe, but whatever. We also really clicked with his BIL, who works in serious rock merch, and are invited to see U2 next time he's in town (which is next month). How sad is it that we made new friends through his death - or maybe that was the grand plan? I don't know. It's too deep for me this morning.

Blew off some steam and went and saw SCOTS last week. WOW. I know I harp on my love of Mary Huff, but who wouldn't? As usual, she got me onstage to dance, but this time, made me sing too. Erf. Yep, my husband, the brillant photographer. That's my great wonderful friend Chrissy, Miss Huff, and myself. Mary got some better ones, which she said should be published on the website. Haven't seen them yet, but she's a busy girl.

Tried to get my cataract surgery bumped up, but no dice. One more month of being blind. Oh well. Also, our food stamps were cut off, but called and told them my hours are being cut (GAR - that's another story). I'm so frustrated with my job.

Keelhaul is playing this Saturday, so it looks like we'll have houseguests. Time to clean again. The short guy in the pic (second from right) is Will Scharf - one of P's best friends. He was also our host when we went to Cleveland 4 years ago. I'm excited to see him! Not a fan of the music, but love him.

Also have to get information on Brad Warner coming to Minnesota in early August. Chrissy and I will be attending, but not staying at the Zen Center, as, well, we're making a mini vacation out of this. So, a hotel stay and drinks would be involved. I'm nearing the end of his second book Sit Down and Shut Up, which is freaking smart and any good "alt kid's" guide to understanding Buddhisim.

I miss LJ already and need another trip to the museum. Maybe I'll do that this weekend and document it.

Made a super awesome superhero cape for my neice for her 4th birthday. Me not being so super awesome forgot to take a picture of it. Will contact brother and insist. She was a little hyper on sugar to wear it for more than 3 seconds.

Today:
Work (hopefully for more than 4 hours)
Clean coffee table

OH, I did insist on a splurge giftie for me yesterday. I got the new "Stilletto" mascara. Will write review. Whoo - it was on sale (and, Knitty, I needed mascara and was willing to pay full price)!